Song Parodies -> "While He's Bizarre, Eating Jeeps"

Original Song Title:

"While My Guitar Gently Weeps"

Original Performer:

"While He's Bizarre, Eating Jeeps"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Dressing in women's clothing? Didn't work. Fake letters from home, claiming various family members are dying? Didn't work. Hangliding into enemy territory? Didn't work. Threatening suicide? Didn't work. Claiming diplomatic immunity because he'd become the new leader of his Arab tribe? Didn't work. So when Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger (played by Jamie Farr on "M*A*S*H") wouldn't get a discharge from the U.S. Army any other way -- feigning insanity or not -- he decided on a foolproof method: Eating a jeep. (No, I'm not kidding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhrgZwjNteM) Except the plan wasn't foolproof, because he was the fool. So it didn't work. He eventually got home the old-fashioned way: He served his time, and the war ended without him dying.

(instrumental opening)

Now, look, here at Max
eating gears, pumps and pistons
while he's bizarre, eating jeeps.
"Now, look, Max," I said
"don't do that," he won't listen.
Still, he's bizarre, eating jeeps.

I don't know how
nobody told him
it simply can't be done.

I don't know how
no one could scold him.
Dumb plans he's had, this ranks one.

He tears at windshield
chewing wipers like licorice
while he's bizarre, eating jeeps.
A feeling in gut
it's worse than being ticklish
still, he's bizarre, eating jeeps.

(instrumental break)

I don't know how
it hasn't killed him.
X-rays, they show it should.

I don't know how
blood hasn't spilled him.
One more hubcap, it would.

Now, look, at Hawkeye
as he's treating poor Klinger
who was bizarre, eating jeeps.
We know, but ask, "Why?"

He was bizarre, eating jeeps!

(instrumental fadeout)

I thought of including a variation on George saying, "Paul, Paul, Paul... " (supposedly, part of the "Paul is dead" myth), but that would have to be Colonel Blake, and the rhythm wouldn't have been right.

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