I've got a list, my name is Earl
My name is Earl

I've done a lot of stuff that's no good
And Karma is mad
Bad luck I've had enough, now I should
Think it's so sad

A jinx it follows, a curse I have to dispel

I've got a list, my name is Earl
My name is Earl
I've got to make it up to each
Person that I have wronged
My brother Randy, why must he
Always tag along?
One hundred forty-seven items left to go

I've got a list, my name is Earl
My name is Earl
One time I went to jail
Where Randy's a guard
It was an epic fail

I've got to mention now my ex Joy, and Darnell
They went to witness protection, 'twas a living hell
It serves 'em right, she "shacked" up with a guy with "crabs"

I've got a list, my name is Earl
My name is Earl
That one time that I did pretend
To be dead, oh so now
Things I must mend

She got so freaked out when
I walked into the room
Because she didn't know I hadn't
Really met my doom
I'm so stupid, now I must pay the whole price

I've got a list, my name is Earl
My name is Earl
My name is Earl