(Instrumental opening)

Picture yourself in an L.A. theater
with tarted-up women squired by vapid guys.
Judy Greer's dress looked like comic-book costume.
Not super in this viewer's eyes.

Glenn Close was posin' in Zac dress of green.
What was going through her head?
She won't be ignored in that dress, and it should be gone.

Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Oy...

Follow up with Kristin's dress with beige feathers.
With Kristin, a wig would be more of a prize.
Then Stacy Keibler, on hip, a cake-flower.
Her designer must have been high.

Viola Davis, green as sea on shore.
Dress should be taken away.
Jessica Chastain, looked like Xena's formal-wear gown.

Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Oy...

Picture yourself in a tux, Robert Downey.
You don't wear black shirt or a glittered bow-tie.
Suddenly everyone heads for the turnstiles.
You gave them kaleidescope eyes.

Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Floozies, couture high, with diamonds.
Oy...
(Repeat until fade)