TON TOGETHER

Here come 'ol Flapjack
He come waddling in slowly
He want Belgian waffle
He one roly poly
He got butter melting on the plate
Got to reach for syrup he just make it taste great
Ton together ... Sat down
Next to me

He scarf no health food
He got .. grape jam donut
He lick sticky fingers
He gulp Coca Cola
He say "I know you .. you know me"
One thing I can tell you is the second plate's free
Ton together .. sat down
Next to me

He bag for lunches
He save .. cream filled donut
He stow .. pork link side dish
He put .. cheese on cracker
He have folds down below his knees
Hold him on a truck scale you can feel his unease
Ton together .. sat down
Next to me

He morbid obeser
He got doctor's warning
He got crushing feeling
He need defribilator
They push one and one and one then breathe
Got to be a goner cause there's no pulse to see
Ton together .. sat down
Next to me

SOMETHING

Something in the way she chews
Attracts me like no other chubber
Something in the way she coos
I don't want to leave her now
You know I can feed her now ...

Somehow as she dines she knows
That she don't need no other feeder
Something 'bout her thighs that shows me
I don't want to leave her now
You know I can feed her now

You're asking me will her butt grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around now it may show
I don't know, I don't know

Something in the way she grows
And all I have to do is cook for her
Something about my weighty Rosie
I don't want to leave her now
You know I can feed her now

MIKEY's SILVER PLATTER

Rose was ravenous, her capacity was cavernous
Dieting in the home
Late nights all alone with ice cream. oh-oh-oh-oh
Michael Moore again, pretending to be poor again
Calls her on the phone
Can you take me out to the IHOP, Ro-oh-oh-ose
But as she's scarfing down a bread roll
A knock comes on the door
Clang! Clang! Mikey's silver platter came down on her head
Clang! Clang! Mikey's silver platter made sure he was fed

Back at the buffet again, Mikey grabs a tray again
Manager gets annoyed
Wishing to avoid a bankrupting sce-ee-ee-ene
She tells Mike to stay, not to grab another tray
So he parks his behind
Muttering 50 times, "Gonna get that ho-o-o-oh
So when she turned her back on the toad
He crept up from behind
Clang! Clang! Mikey's silver platter came down on her head
Clang! Clang! Mikey's silver platter made sure he was fed

Vegas Thirty One says we got a dirty one
Mikey's cuffed alone
Making loud intestinal noises, Oh-oh-oh-oh
Joe and Mary Kay, feeding at the Mandalay
Say he must be fed (Mikey has to eat)
The sergeant disagrees and he tells them so-oh-oh-oh
But as he's busy writing reports
A noise comes from behind
Clang! Clang! Mikey's silver platter came down on his head
Clang! Clang! Mikey's silver platter made sure he was fed

OH, HARDEE'S

Oh Hardee's! Please believe me
I'll never sue you for harm
Believe me when I tell you
I'll neve sue you for harm

Oh Hardee's! If you feed me
I'll pay for the stent on my own
Believe me when I tell you
Don't leave me eating alone

When you told me, you wouldn't feed me anymore
Well you know I nearly broke down and cried
When you told me, I couldn't get a Super Thick Monsterburger any more*
Well you know I nearly broke down .. and died
*(1406 calories)

Oh Hardees! If you feed me
I'll replace the knee on my own
Believe me when I tell you
Don't leave me feeding alone

When you told me. you wouldn't feed me any more
Well you know, I nearly broke down and cried
When you told me, I couldn't get sausage biscuits in gravy anymore
Well you know, I nearly broke down .. and died

Oh Hardee's! Please believe me
I told my lawyer to stand down
Believe me when I tell yo
I'll never SUE YOU FOR HARM!

LOCAL OLIVE GARDEN

I'd like to feed .. with fat Rosie
At a local Olive Garden in the shade

(Meh! That's enough)

I WANT STEW

(getting a little lazy here at the end)

I want stew --- I want it so bad
I want stew --- I want it so bad
It's driving me mad, it's driving me mad

(Repeat X 3)

Feels so .. HEAVY! .. heavy, heavy, heavy

I want stew --- I want it so bad
I want stew --- I want it so bad,
It's driving me mad, It's driving me mad

(Repeat)

Fells so HEAVY! .. heavy, heavy, heavy

(Cue jet engine .. and we're done)