Song Parodies -> "Coleoptera"

Original Song Title:

"Come Together"

Original Performer:

"Coleoptera"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The geneticist JBS Haldane was once asked what he had learned of the Creator after a lifetime of research. Haldane remarked the creator must have had "an inordinate fondness for beetles." I've often thought about a parody about beetles to a Beatles tune, so this is it.

Here come old beetle, he got hard elytra
He got six li'l legs and he got long antenna
He does complete meta-mor-phoses
Egg, then larva, pupa then imago (like bees)

He soldier beetle, he one plum curculio
He spot ladybird or stripy colerado
He say - nothing 'cause beetles can't speak
One thing I can tell you is he ain't got no beak
Coleoptera
Beetles - cause disease

He one in four in ten of all Insecta
But he ain't no cockroach 'cause they are blattaria
He got no feet below his knee
Anobiidae and Scotylus can spread tree disease
Coleoptera
Beetles - got six knees

He roll a shit-wad, he one dumb dung-beetle
He in muddy water he one hydrophilida
He say - nothing, beetles STILL CAN'T SPEAK
Lucky he can fly because he sure cannot ski
Coleoptera
Beetles - they ain't fleas

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Guy DiRito - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment

Phil, 'He roll a shit-wad, he one dumb dung-beetle' Hilarious. I LOLed on this line. Very well done and a nice use of the Latin formal names for these insecta. loved it.

Smurf and Mr.Horse - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment

Excellent stuff Dr. Phil and very funny! 5-5-5

Phil Alexander - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment

Hey Smurf&Mr Horse, thanks for the thought, but I'm not a doctor... and thanks too, Guy, for the kind words

..and before some beetlemaniac points out that beetles cause precious few diseases (in humans, anyway - they do cause quite a few in things like potatoes and trees), I thought I'd changed the "cause disease" line. Must be imagining things.

Static - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment

as always i am in awe... i liked the ski line. i hope you choose to record this one. all 5's from me.

Michael Pacholek - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment

Happy birthday, John Lennon. He would have been 63 today, and wherever he is (probably no longer imagining "there's no heaven"), he's gotta be laughing his arse off at this. As he himself might say, Phil, "Hold that lyric in there, you can feel his disease!"

Meriadoc - October 10, 2003 - Report this comment

Phil, this is my favorite kind of parody! Obscure minutia. Excellent! (altho' before I read it, I thought you had mispelled "Cleopatra"....)

Birg - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment

WOW!! I'm laughing my butt off,but in absolute awe for your use of words. I can't say enough good things about your talent.When I typed in "Come Together" in the search area here,I noticed yours right off,seeing how it's a scientific word-and,once again,inspired by Phil The Magnificent-I must go whip up my own parody of this great song. Thx again for soooo much inspiration! :-D

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