(instrumental opening)

I'd like to be
somewhere I'd see
not a sourpuss, but Arwen is displayed.
She'd let me in.
Not Bernard twin.
He's a sourpuss, left Arwen quite dismayed.

I'd like my friends to come and see
no sourpuss, just Arwen and me!

I'd like to be
somewhere I'd see
not a sourpuss, but Arwen is displayed.

Give her a "ring"
(ah-ah)
in Wyoming
where the sourpuss is former Veep Dick Chene...
(puss is former Veep Dick)
The kind of guy
for whom she'd write
'bout how sourpuss he's been, and quite insane.
(he's been and quite in... )

We would sing and dance around
where no one cares how much we've clowned!

I'd like to be
(ah-ah)
somewhere I'd see
not a sourpuss, but Arwen is displayed.

(instrumental break)

We would shout
(ah-ah)
and fly about
the mountains with their purple majesties.
(with their purple majesties)
Oh, what joy
for, well, any straight boy
knowing that his precioussss is no tease.
(knows his precioussss is no tease)

We would be so happy, she and me.
Even if she tells me what to do.

I'd like to be
(ah-ah)
somewhere I'd see
not a sourpuss, but Arwen, yes, it's true.
Not a sourpuss, but Arwen, yes, it's true.
Not a sourpuss, but Arwen, yes, it's true.