lmao...especially at "root for stigmata"...five raps on the knuckles with a ruler for ya

he he

I live in a predomanitely Catholic neighborhood so I know all about nuns. Have you ever heard "Nuns" by Big Daddy Graham?

Excellent!

This is great! 15 Hail Marys.

Great topic, but don't make a habit of it...heh heh.

Sir Guy, this is tops! The sisters ~ BVM~( we called black veiled monsters) would love to see this . . . Most are now in wheel chairs! Is is ok for me to 'print out' and take it to them, Sir? Oh, my sister & I bring out every Halloween a plastic wind-up Nun, that walks & 'Sparks' fire!! My Nephew & Niece do NOT truly understand the humor of nunSense !! A different generation now in Catholic schools, for sure! Thank, you , Sir!

:-D I had a mental image of that bit at the start of the Blues Brothers... brilliant, Guy. (Though in your intro, did you mean "young and impressionable"? Still, I guess you may well have been young and impressive ;-) )

Alvin - I've been crazy busy for about the last 3 weeks. I had a three day weekend and I wrote four parodies and revised one. You will see the other three each remaining week day this week. I haven't been able to get much time after work as I'm kind of working longer hours right now to get to read and comment on much. Over the weekend I used the time to comment and vote in two comps I'm currently in. I will get to your stuff and others sooner or later. And thanks for liking the stigmata ref.

Ann - I like to think of you as the Ann-o-meter. You seem to only comment on the better parodies so when I see your name on my parody I know I did well. Thanks!

2-Eagle - Sorry, no I have never heard of ""Nuns" by Big Daddy Graham"" Who is Daddy Graham? And yes the nuns used to scare the devil out of me for sure. Luckily my parents sent me to public school, but a lot of my friends went to Catholic school. They would be off school for every feast day. We'd be out of school by the end of May and they had so many hoidays that they went to school until nearly the end of June. They used to gloat when they were off school for a Catholic feast day and public schoolers had to go to school but you know what happened in June - it's the "B" word used as the direct object of the subject of what "Payback" is. Thanks for your comment.

Tim - Thanks for the boost

Sir John - You - you - you dare give me penance? OK, now where did I put that rosary? Thanks for weighing in. =;-)

Merry - LOL!!! Love your comment - thanks. If you have not already, you may want to take a peek at the one I put in yesterday. It's called "Rhapsody".

M'Lady - I gladly grant favour for you to print show or electronically transmit this scribe's work to whomever you like. I'd just love to be there when you show it to those old nuns. That is if you are not pulling my leg. And I'd love to see the sparking nun. That must be a real trip. My kind thanks to your attention to my labor of spoofery.

Phil - Ya got me. Spell check doesn't catch those kinds of errors. I even used MS Word 2003 spell check and it didn't even flag it for grammar. Yeah and when I was a youngster I was probably the only one who thought I was impressive. Thanks!

This is fantastic. True to the teachings and funny as well. Be careful those nuns have a black belt in akido bashing.

Tim - Yeah - I'll need now be careful around nunneries and other places where nuns habitat. Actually this write was nun too difficult. Thanks for the boost, friend.

Thanks Sir, Guy! It's always best to ask permission. Cowboy Jim will be delivering the '08 harvest of Campagna Olive Oil soon to the Convent & Rectory kitchens; I always come along & bring roses to the good sisters and make 'em laugh!

M'Lady - please be sure to tell me how well this little beut is received. In a way I wish I could witness the event but then my habit is to still fear nuns. =;-) Please post the highlights of the event on this parody once the good sisters have digested it's contents. But please do be careful - if they reach for the "Holy Ruler", "run Forrest, run".

Fantastic. I went to a Catholic Kindergarten (although only He knows why, given I am *nominally* an Anglican). And I got the ruler from a Nun. In bloody KINDERGARTEN!!! My transgression? Sitting on the bottom step of the girls toilet block whilst eating my lunch. I would have understood better if (a) there hadn't been about 50 steps up the hill to the toilet block - i.e. I wasn't sitting there to perve on the girls under the circs, (b) I didn't know the DIIFERENCE between boys and girls, so therefore I had no motive, and (c) they had bothered to explain WHY I was getting the ruler. Instead of leaving a four year old to work it out for themselves.

Split Enz sung in "Haul Away": "Catholic condition, strength through exhaustion". It seemed appropriate when I first heard it. Now - whilst I have obviously retained this memory in the form of a grudge all this time, my point is: It hardly endeared me to the whole concept of religion in ANY shape!Oh. Yeah. Great parody. I was away there for a while but am back now :)

Pip - Funny how you so clearly remember an event when you were four. That is the whole point of this parody. I too remember what they did when I was quite young and I am sure hundreds of thousands, if not millions could also relate. So you are unique just like everyone else.

Yeah, I'm sure they made non believers out of vast throngs of populace. Hope it made you chuckle and if it made you realize that you have been holding a grudge for this many years I hope it made that grudge just one less piece of baggage for you to carry. Thnaks, friend.

Sir Guy, during my Catholic School career, 'Trick Kennedy' would not respond to Sister, as he was reading a comic book under his open desk, his desk being propped open by a ruler . . . The nun continued to call his name, as she walked down the isle to his desk, then she slammed down his desk top . . . The wooden ruler snapped, flew across the classroom, and hit another student in his head !! mama mia !!! We howled in laughter, because we were so repressed !

M'Lady - Was this sister named Laurel or Hardy? Been watching TCM this weekend of old Laurel & Hardy movies and short subjects. Things like that are in every episode they have done. Hilarious.

Did she look like reply number nine of this parody comp. thread? She even has the Holy Ruler.

http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=33913.0

My favorite lines: "Get caught, shootin' spit balls, They got, holy ruler." (WHA-CHA! OW!) "They get, no man hoot calls. Ain't no, spunky swingers, They root, for stigmata. They say, 'spirit-tu', 'Holy See'" (all four lines are...inspired? :-) Good use of "Holy See," glad you found a use for it) "They keep, bingo records" (never really thought of the paperwork that goes with gambling) "They pray, one, by one, on ros-ary" (nice! haha!) Good laughs, Guy! I found more I liked when I went back through to copy the lines. Kinda like my reaction to Woody Allen films: raise an eyebrow and smirk while watching, then recount it through gut-splitting laughter to your friends later. :-) Toodles!

GG - I told you that you would like this one. And knowing you, I could just see you cracking up all the way through it. And yes a lot of what is in here was inspiried. I always love making you laugh, because it is something that comes so naturally to you. THANKS!

My least favorite Beatles song, but you made this tolerable, because I'm Catholic and can really relate to all of this, even though I was never in a Catholic School my dad and cousins were and heard enough stories about them to actually know exactly what you're talking about here. Good job!

Great

Matt - I was spared attending Catholic school but a lot of my friends were not. I learned enough from my friends to know that I was glad my family was not able to pay for that private education. I caught enough from the nuns during catechism which I had to attend each and every Saturday morning - anyway with church every Sunday and catechism every Saturday it was enough for me to pen this piece that is fairly accurate for that time in the Church's history, at least to a young lad. As I remember the nuns, they scared me a lot until I got to be about 10 years old and began to see through their tactics. Thanks for your comment.

Max - Thanks for the boost.

(Artistry) I know next to nothing about nuns, so I can't get much outta this one. Not that familiar with the OS either, so that's a double whammy.

(Artistry) Hi-larious! Should have been your SOTM entry. Bless you.

I'm not usually into religious parodies, but this was a big exception. Great work Guy, and I laughed at "They get, no man hoot calls" and "They lay, mojo guilters". Great subs and humor.

(Artistry) Holy parody! Excellent work.

Bobpiecheese - AKA COP is it? Sorry you couldn't get more out of this one, but thanks for your candid comment. I have problems understanding a lot of the stuff that hits these web pages myself. I can well understand where you are coming from.

Agri - Yeah I could have done it for SOTM but I wanted that Carole King Tapestry - Bohemian Rhapsody mix to get some exposure. I will most likely be doing another RC bash for the next SOTM of my "Unda Da See" parody I published yesterday., that is unless I write something better by the end of the month.

Jack - Thanks - it is not easy to do religion and stay on key with the humor. A lot of this stuff is from real life experience.

Rex - Thanks for the boost.

I am surprised that no one picked up and made comment on the ending of the parody. "Mother Mary comes to me "is a line from "Let it Be".

(Artistry) This is my favorite Beatles OS, not that I'm a big fan of the Beatles, but I liked it because it was more unique among there collection. I'm a bit of a grammar geek because I enjoy recording, so a little of that--but honestly, this was a fun idea and kind of creepy while funny at the same time, so kudos on this one.

They got...holy ruler...priceless!!

Guy, this is one of my favorite songs that you've done! Hilarious, great OS, and I may have even learned something.

(Artistry) Never been a Catholic, though I heard a story from my father (grew up an Irish Catholic in Sligo and Cork). Between that and this parody, I think I'll keep my distance from those habits. :-)

Great write here Guy...
I know you like comments with personal detail...so I will share.
I grew-up near Boston in Catholic territory...and to make matters worse...of Irish descent. Though I didn't attend Catholic school, I did attend CCD (catechism class) every Sunday. When I was being primed for my first communion (I think age 7 or so) I asked the nun "If God knows everything...then doesn't he already know if I'm going to hell or not...and if I'm going to hell...why did he create me...knowing I'm doomed to suffer for eternity ?" Of course, the nun was irritated with my question and she told me that if I did end up in hell, it would be my own fault...because of "free will". This was kinda scary stuff for a 7 year old.
I stayed Catholic untill the day of my Confirmation...at age 12.
Now, in the Boston area, many Catholic Churchs have been shut down...due to lack of funds...mainly because of the monetary settlements paid to victims of abuse by priests
I mean...it's kinda crazy to expect "The Faithful" to accept counsel from men who have never been husbands or fathers...and have sworn-off women as evil temptresses.
Anyway...I've rambled enough here. Maybe what I'm trying to say is...any religion that requires their male and female "officers" to be sex-less (in theory)...is really stupid.

Wolverine - A wise choice to avoid bad habits. Thanks!

IB - You nailed the point of this parody to a complete and entire "T". I have always wondered how a priest counsels married couples when he himself has no experience about married life. It's kind of like a person going to an AA meeting and everyone but the person in the meeting has never taken a drink in their entire lives. I was confirmed at age 12 but my dad was a first generation Italian-American and he made sure that I went to church with him every Sunday and Holy day of Obligation. I think I finally quit going around the age of 17. I was the youngest and after that he quit going himself. I think he just wanted to make sure that I grew up OK. For about 10 years he worked as a deputy warden at the county lockup. He worked night shift and he was paid every other Friday. During the summer he would take me along with him on the payday Friday and show me what life was like locked up. He told me that if he were ever on duty and I was brought in by the police he would be harder on me than anyone else, even an accused rapist/murderer. Needless to say I've never been in trouble with the law. Those jailhouse visits did more for me in just one visit than all the years that I attended Catholic CCD and church combined. Thanks for the interesting commenting IB. Much appreciate it.

Ah those penguins. 555! It's good to hear a song about our friend the penguin- and by the penguin I don't mean the batman villain played by Danny Devito in Batman Returns.

Sir Guy, it you had a concerned Dad, although somewhat CowboyDaveEsque in his parenting, but he did the best for you, Sir ! I agree that Visits to Prisons ( like ALCATRAZ ) should be mandatory for elementary school children! The ghosts of the inmates who resided at Alcatraz, still penetrate the walls of that prison . . .

Dr. Music - I never thought about how much they resemble penguins who are truly creatures of habit. It's no wonder they were so cold. Thanks!

M'Lady - Yes dad was a hard guy when he had to be. I did have one small brush with the law about at the age of 16 - 17. There were four of us parked in a car with a teenage girl along and we were all drinking quarts of beer. The guy driving the car was someone named Charlie Blue, but we just called him "tiny". He weighed over 300 pounds. Anyway, a cop came up on us and Charlie was sitting on about 6 quarts of beer. For some reason the cops let us go. I thought we were home free but the girl's mother was totally upset with her daughter coming home very late and tipsy. The girl ratted us all out and the mom filed a complaint. Anyway a justice of the peace imposed a fine on all of us for the amount of $42.50 and called it minor in possession of alcohol. At first we all decided to fight it since they had no proof that anyone there was in possession of alcohol. One by one my friends folded and paid the fine. I held out until I had to appear. I never admitted to the alcohol possession. My dad was with me and the JP ruled that I was guilty. My dad paid the fine but made me pay him back. We lived in a small town and if you were 16 or older you could hire on for the burrough. Burroughs are what small towns are called in Pennsylvania. Well I hired on and got the job of garbage pick-up. They paid minimum wage and at the time that was $1.60 per hour. It was summer time and it was hot and the job was totally gross. II was thrilled when I got a paycheck for somewhere arount $48.00. My dad demanded his $42.50 for the fine he paid on me. That left me with chump change from a week of garbage detail. Dad was hard but he was fair. He passed away in July of 1991 at the age of 84. I miss him sometimes.

Great story Sir Guy, Yes, your Dad was a very fair man and wonderful Dad ! Most here in NorCAL do NOT have Dads or those that do, cannot count on them to spend that kind of time with a teenage son, and to interact with the child to completion, as in making sure you paid him the $42.50. See how you never forgot the lesson, nor the exact amount! Now that's Quality Parenting, Sir ! As my Counselor would say. well. I'm off to the Oakland Airport soon, going back to old Mil-WOW-key(German pronunciation) to visit the graves of my parents, Aunt, g-parents & even that of BAD-S. It's something that will give me closure on my life . . . But there will be fun times too! And even bike riding to see the FALL leaves. See you after Oct 6, Sir !

Sir Guy, don't feel that you are the only one who got into trouble over dasBier . . . my dad at 17 was delivering daBooze ! ! Cops broke up the highschool deliveries, and my Austrian GrandaMa went to see J J at the police station in West Allis(suburb or burrough of MilTown). J J accepted punishment, but he pleaded with my Grandma NOT to tell J-ONE, his Dad ! Clever lady that she was, she said OK, but youse stay in derJail alles Nacht ! ! Seemed OK, at the time, but decades later it would haunt J J , when he applied for his TOP SECRET & Cosmic clearances . . . I remember him roaring over the phone at my GrandMA ! ! He did get cleared for Take-Off . . .

Can't turn your back on a nun- they have "powers". You know, like "Penguin" from Blues Brothers. This song does remind me of the blues brothers.

That was absolutely "Nunderful"!! They beat the living crap out of us, back in my Catholic school days. 'Beware the penguin!' Detention until 5:55

Thanks Mark - I knew I hit the old nail square on the head with this one. It is obvious that you can really appreciate this since you went to Catholic school. As for me going to Catholic school, I wanted nun of it. Glad I missed that. A lot of my friends went to Catholic school and they were all hell raisers. I'm sure the nuns made them act out and such.

ABC: I love this! You did an excellent job with this and spoofing the OS, 555 more ruler smacks for you.

ABC - One of my favs, as I lived through most of that. We had a nun in class once that would grsb your hair and bang your head into the blackboard. Scary "habit' to be in!!!

See above

(ABC M & N) Never went to Catholic school, although my dad was a practicing Catholic until the molestation scandal made the news. The general hospital where all my doctors are is a Catholic-run operation, and my town has lots of Catholic residents, so I see at least one nun almost every day. Onto the parody, it's excellent, and 555 whacks on the head with a yardstick (or meterstick, as they call them now.)

(ABC M/N) You must love this OS a whole lot! I also love this OS too. My mom went to a school in the Philippines run by nuns and if children misbehave, they kneel on hard mongo beans for a long time. (Ouch!) Well, may you be blessed and baptized with 555's...think 'nun' of it!

(ABC5-MN) Now that I'm more familiar with the OS (as in it's my favourite Beatles song now), I can say that this paces perfectly. And thank you for not slamming into religion, that kinda irks me, being Christian and all. 555, my son.

This parody was very well-written, funny, perfectly-paced, and didn't offend me at all. (I am a devoted Christian, though.) 555

(ABC Tournament) Amen to your great parody, Guy!