I think she's totally mad
My "dinky" blind date, yeah
Hate to see her unclad
She's so overweight
She's got addicted to pies
She's got addicted to fries 'n' pies
Cheez.. see the size of her thighs
But she don't care.

I said to eat constantly
Won't bring her weight down, yeah.
She's got obesity
And now she's gone round, aaah
She's got addicted to pies
She's like a whale in disgui-yi-ise
She's got repulsive to guys
But she don't care.

I don't think even she can deny it
She ought to think twice,
She ought to eat sensibly
She ought to think of watching her diet
And not to eat twice
What an elephant e-e-ats

If she went off to Riyadh
She'd wear a sail, yeah
The girl's so big even Vlad
Would fail to impale
She's got addicted to pies
Uses a tent to disguise her size
She's eaten all the supplies
But she don't care.

I now know why she's ridin' so wide
Because she drink twice,
She doesn't think twice a day
I'm gonna try a-sneakin' outside
Ain't gonna think twice,
I'm gonna get right away

Now I can't take anymore
I'm heading downtown, yeah
She won't follow, I'm sure
I'll see her around
Ah, she's got addicted to pies
They're gonna cause her demise, those pies
Leastways, that's what I surmise
But she don't care.

So heavy, don't care,