(instrumental opening)

I'd like to be
at KFC.
Because, sucks, does Olive Garden, I'm afraid.
Don't you go in.
It's such a sin.
Because, sucks, does Olive Garden, I'm afraid.

I'd like my friends to come and see
that sucks, does Olive Garden, says me!

I'd like to be
at KFC.
Because, sucks, does Olive Garden, I'm afraid.

Don't go there, please.
Try Mickey D's.
Because, sucks, does Olive Garden, I must say.
I'd even swing
to Burger King
before going to Olive Garden, yuck, oy vey.

To that place, don't go around
because good food, it can't be found!

I'd like to be
at KFC.
Because, sucks, does Olive Garden, I'm afraid.

(Hear that spaghetti sauce bubbling?
Kind of sounds like a witches' brew, doesn't it?)

We would shout
(Aiiiigh!)
and run about
and call an ambulance to come our way.
(Ambulance to come our way!)
Oh, what pain
we're feeling yet again
knowing that we still did have to pay.
(Knowing we still had to pay!)

We would be unhappy, you and me
eat their pasta and tomato brew.

I'd like to be
at KFC
because sucks, does Olive Garden, now say you.
Because sucks, does Olive Garden, now say you.
Because sucks, does Olive Garden, now say you!