[ACT THREE]
[SCENE TWO]


{Setting: Courthouse, later in the day}

(Chet has taken off his tie, and unbuttoned his shirt. He is sweating porously)
(As Sheriff Bob reaches for the gavel, Chet shrieks)
(The jury glares at Chet)

CHET
"Sorry, sorry"

(Bob thrusts the gavel down)

SHERIFF BOB
"Chet. The court of Mother Nature's Ass, has found you to be."

(Chet pulls on his tie)
(Bubba leans in)

SHERIFF BOB
"Guilty for the raping of a sheep"

(Bubba's grin broadens)

SHERIFF BOB
"However innocent for the burning of a certain moonshine plant, since Slowpoke said it was legal for you to smoke while on the job"

(Bubba's grin fades away)

SHERIFF BOB
"You were also guilty of insulting our resident gay man, Kelly Anderson"

(Bubba's grin broadens)

SHERIFF BOB
"Since the sheep was the same weight as you that charge is dropped"

(Bubba's grin fades away)

SHERIFF BOB
"So Chet, you need to stay in Mother Nature's Ass Federal Prison for the rest of the month, and you owe the town 6 thousand in legal charges"

CHET
"Six THOUSAND!?"

SHERIFF BOB
"Is there a problem?"

CHET
"I don't have a job, the only thing I can possibly do is"

"Everybody Has Somewhere To Work"
By Matthias

(CHET)
Bum on, Bum on, Bum on, Bum on
No job I'm unemployed
No jobs at that Big Boy
No job, Except for sleazy
That job would make me queasy
I'm uneasy
I'm uneasy

Everybody's got somewhere to work
"Cept for me, I'm a Flunky

The cheaper you go
The more crap you buy
The more crap you buy
The cheaper you go

My cash, gone
Cash gone

Cash gone, I'm a poor boy
Cash gone, can't eat Poor Boys
Cash gone, no heat and freezing
Cash gone, Dude, I'm not teasing
Getting breezy
And I'm sneezing

Everybody's got somewhere to work
"Cept for me, I'm a Flunky

I applied throughout; hope a job I will get
Hope job I will get, cause I applied throughout

Now I bum on, bum on
Need job, Will sell sex toys
Need job, will cook bok choy
Need job, will make your fleas flee
Need job, will make that cheese, Brie
Have no degree, Have no degree

Everybody's got somewhere to work
"Cept for me, I'm a Flunky

Hey!

Bum On!
Bum On!
Bum On!
Bum On!
Bum On!
(Repeat "Bum On!" until you get a job)