[ACT ONE]
[SCENE TEN]

{Setting: Slowpoke Farm, Barn}

(SLOWPOKE is sitting down on a bale of hay, Bubba, and Chet are standing in front of him)

SLOWPOKE
"We're having a bit of trouble down on the farm and I'm going to have to put one of you down"

(Bubba and Chet look at each other worriedly)

SLOWPOKE
"Now you both are good employees so it pains me to do this, but I can only afford to keep one of you."

(Slowpoke examines them as you would examine a horse)
(Slowpoke jots information down onto a yellow pad)

SLOWPOKE
"Okay, Bubba I know you've been working here for 20 years, but you've shown shown up late and drunk many times within the past year"

(Bubba fans himself with his cowboy hat)

SLOWPOKE
"As for you Chet, I've found you doing way too many illegal girls in the hayloft while on the clock."

(Chet plays with his thumbs)

SLOWPOKE
"BUT Bubba, I'm going to have to put you down"

(Slowpoke reaches for his shotgun)

BUBBA
"No need fer that, I'll git"

(Bubba leaves and slams the door behind him)

{Setting: Homer's}

(The door to Homer's slams open and Bubba stomps inside)
(He grabs a stool and starts mumbling under his breath)

HOMER
"The usual Bubba"

BUBBA
"Give me Watermelon Wine, 100 proof, leave the bottle"

(Char looks at Bubba cross-eyed with concern)

CHAR
"How are you doing Bubba"

(Rocky pats Bubba on the back)

ROCKY
"What's the problem big guy?"

(Bubba takes a swig from the bottle)

BUBBA
"Downsized"
By Agrimorfee

(BUBBA)
I got fired, the slip is colored pink
I got fired, I should put up a stink
My rent check for the trailer is beginnin' to shrink
Ho, ho, ho

I got fired, I think that I should sue
I got fired, now I'll start a tobacco chew
Maybe I should tell Sue, but I'm not sure what I should do

I'd say I fell for the con
From Old Slowpoke, my boss at the farm
You know he's so cheap, he nickels and dimes
He owes me three weeks of my overtime
But that bastard's everything I'm not
So that suits me fine

I got fired, I'm goin' into debt
I wonder who got me fired, I think it was because of Chet
I sing with Johnny Paycheck
But you know I ain't down yet!

Well sir, 'fore I visit the john
Do you want a smoke?
It'll do ya no harm
'Cause they ain't cheap, not at all like my boss
He owes me three weeks, I'm feelin' the loss
But that bastard's everything I'm not
And that suits me fine
Yeah, that bastard's everything I'm not
And that suits me fine
Now I'll take another shot of watermelon wine

(Homer, Homer, Homer, crack open another one...)




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