[ACT ONE]
[SCENE THREE]

{Setting: Bubba's Muscle Car}

JILL
"So how was New York, Whisky Lips?"

BUBBA
"Well, I's gotta say it's a tad too busy fer my tastes. Ever-one's rushing to one place, er another. Nobody ever sits down n' just watches the sun rise, and play the banjo down there. So many workaholics."

JUSTIN
"New York isn't that bad. Empire State Building, Statue Of Liberty, Liberty Square, Central Park, Broadway it's the best place in the world"

BUBBA
"Ter each his own, Ah guess"

JUSTIN
"You know Bubba I could have just met you down here"

BUBBA
"And miss out on that great flight? Ah think not!"

(Justin rolls his eyes)

{Jill pulls the car into Mother Nature's Ass}

BILLIE
"Welcome to Mother Nature's Ass, Uncle Justin"

{JILL parks the car by a large trailer and they exit to see George and Paul leaning against it}

(Paul is sporting a large black coat singing a Motown hit)
(George is nodding his head next to him smoking a blunt)

BUBBA
"Howdy Boys"

PAUL
"Hey, dude, how was it surrounded by the man in New York?"

BUBBA
"To tell you the truth, I'm glad to be home"

(George nods, and flashes the peace sign)

BUBBA
"I trust you made sure my house was safe, right?"

PAUL
"Don't sweat it, man. Your place is far out"

BUBBA
"Great, I to crash in front of the tube watching some NASCAR"

(Billie opens the door to the trailer and shrieks)
(Bubba rushes in to see CHET making love to ETTA MAY)
(Etta May pulls on her underwear and runs out)

BUBBA
"Chet how strongly do yeh feel fer yer own daughter, anyways?!"

(Chet pulls on his overalls)

"Romance Young'uns"
By PMS

(CHET)
I just can't tell you how strongly I feel
Attracted to my youngest daughter Lucille
Both to her and her twin sister Flo
Etta May and Mary Jo
And after one or two mint juleps
So much love do I have to give
Looking to romance young'uns.

Let me tell you all a-bout me and Lee Ann
We were about as close as siblings can be man.
And there weren't nobody more appalled.
Than our brother Paw.
Man he got balistically sore-yeah
He and sister momma our hind ends beat
How dare you romance, young'uns?

People living in the backwoods and hills
Quite unique fam'ly values instill.
It makes for some family trees
Straight as can be.
Mixed chromozones not a notion
DNA tests disappoint-yep
Loonies who romance young'uns

(Music Stops)

BUBBA
"Git outta here yeh whacko!"