Song Parodies -> "NASCAR Race Driver"

Original Song Title:

"Paperback Writer"

Original Performer:

"NASCAR Race Driver"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Finally, one of the Democratic party's presidential candidates has done something interesting. Senator Bob Graham has sponsored a Ford truck in the NASCAR Craftsman Series races in an effort to attract attention among the demographic group of "NASCAR dads." Will this help him move ahead of the eight other Democratic candidates?

NASCAR race driver, NASCAR race driver.
Attention voters, look at my campaign,
I represent the South, and I feel your pain.
I lack the charisma of the man from Hope,
But I want the job,
So I'm sponsoring a NASCAR race driver,
NASCAR race driver.

My campaign is based on my health care plan
Which is too complex for you to understand.
So I seek votes from NASCAR racing fans.
They are redneck slobs,
But they all look up to NASCAR race drivers,
NASCAR race drivers.
NASCAR race drivers, NASCAR race drivers.

It's a million bucks, give or take a few
To fund a Ford truck for a month or two.
I'll do what it takes to get publicity
'Cuz I need the votes,
And I hope to be a campaign survivor.
Campaign survivor.

If this concept works, I'll be the nominee
And I know whom to pick to run as my VP.
Put the VP debate at Daytona Beach
And I know I'll win
'Cuz I'm going to pick a NASCAR race driver
NASCAR race driver.
NASCAR race driver, NASCAR race driver.
NASCAR race driver, NASCAR race driver.
NASCAR race driver, NASCAR race driver.
NASCAR race driver, NASCAR race driver.
NASCAR race driver.

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Michael Pacholek - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment

Ah, yes, NASCAR, or, as I like to call it, Southern hockey. It's not like the fans of this pathetic competition can understand a more complex event. George Carlin said, "To be a sport, you have to have a ball, and you have to have the chance to kick the s--- out of somebody. Football is the ultimate sport. Hockey almost has it right. You can kick the s--- out of somebody, but there's no ball. There's a puck. Women have never seen a puck anyplace else. Men have, in a urinal. Auto racing is not a sport. It's driving. It's turning left. You might as well call driving to work a sport. You might as well call riding the subway a sport. At least on the subway, you have the chance to kick the s--- out of somebody!" Carlin is right, and Jeff Foxworthy is also right: "If you think the last four words of the National Anthem are, 'Gentlemen, start your engines!' you might be a redneck."

John Jenkins - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment

Bob Graham's supporters claim that they are sponsoring the truck because NASCAR is the fastest growing sport in the nation, but I agree with Michael - if the automobile engine is supplying the power, it is NOT a sport. I don't agree with George Carlin's definition of a sport, however - the Tour de France is definitely a sporting event, and track and field and marathon running are definitely sports.

Wild Man - July 16, 2003 - Report this comment

Speaking of Southern Hockey how about that Tampa Bay Lightning! Mike, I'm sorry but, you are annoying, long winded, and opinioned. I hope you take this a s a complement , because I know you will.

Michael Pacholek - July 18, 2003 - Report this comment

Wild Man, the Lightning got shorted out by the Devils. They'll be back -- assuming they can hang on to Vincent Lecavalier -- and we'll be ready for 'em.

Wild Man - July 18, 2003 - Report this comment

Well Mike it's almost football season are you up for the challenge! The World Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers are at camp. Plan on seeing some dueling parody's about football very,very soon!

Static - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment

as a matter of fact, try driving 900 miles in one day, blowing up a tire, and never going over the speed limit! see how tired you get!

Robert J. Pagliaro - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment

Dude - making an effort to read your stuff - and I apologize for not doing so in the past. Funny piece. Perceptive and you know your stuff because this was written more than six months before Air Force One and the (s)elected president delayed this year's 500 by making two flybys on national television. (Strange because he's got the redneck vote and I was the only liberal watching. But it was quite a show.) It's now April, could Graham be the VP selection? - the state is in play and Dubya lost it the first time.) Finally, I hate to disagree with Pacholek, but when he's wrong, he's wrong. Driving is a sport, golf isn't (and golf has a ball). And, Michael, if you don't think that getting to work on the subway is a sport - I'll subway race you from Coney Island to Bill Clinton's office in Harlem any day pal. bob

John Jenkins - April 10, 2004 - Report this comment

Robert - Thanks for the comment. Your comments usually express a unique perspective and almost always make sense. Of course, I've got to disagree with two of your statements. Dubya did NOT lose Florida in 2000 (even if you think the official count ended prematurely, all of the unofficial newspaper recounts showed he still won), and golf is very much a sport.

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