Stray pooch, don't you look bad
Such a sad pup... could not look deader
Purina I fed her and she did bark
Really showed spark... she's getting better

She grew, I was amazed
And she played too... a real go-getter
With gorgeous, long red fur over her skin
Must have been kin... to (an) Irish Setter

But then sometimes she wasn't right, she chewed, all night,
On various things, like my new sneakers
Covered the couch in doggie drool, I say not cool
She swallowed my rings and knawed my speakers

Chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp, munch munch munch munch

She grew, packed on the pounds
Tore my grounds up... she's quite the digger
A phase that I figured she wouldn't start
This dog's not smart... but growing bigger

But through the days and over years, stray pooch, I fear's,
Gone crazy or something now... she's bolder
She looks at you and thinks of food, she's huge, I'm screwed,
My stray pup it seems, resembles Cujo!

Na na na nice dog, na na nice dog!
(Yeah)

Stray pooch..., she has gone mad
Now a bad dog... I raised her better
I dial up the vet her phone it just rings
Cujo she zings, I see a red blur,
Seems my setter's thinkin' murder murder OH..!

[chorus]
Rrowl,
Rworl rworl,
Snarl and a growl,
Dog's on the prowl
Stray pooch!

[repeat for the next 3 minutes with me screaming ad-libbed pleas
for help in the background or until someone calls animal control!]