Quiet down kids I can't hear above the din as we travel together
Can't concentrate on traffic ahead so simmer down
I'm driving

Spill a bowl of cornflakes, waiting for the van to come
Don't take off your T-shirt, sister isn't stupid
Come on kids, it's time to go, why do you take so long?
This trip I regret, "waah!"
Tim got his pants wet, "waah!"
I am the Daddy. "Are we there yet?"

Look! Punch-buggy, don't punch doggie
Pinching is forbidden in the car
See pretzels fly, now one's in my eye, can't drive right now
Stop fighting. Stop fighting.
Stop fighting. Stop fighting.

Yellow splatter mustard, dripping from a hot dog's bun
Stopping for a bathroom, Timmy couldn't hold it
Sally what is wrong with you? No you can't ride alone
This trip I regret, "waah!"
Tim got his pants wet, "waah!"
I am the Daddy. "Are we there yet?"

Sitting in a lot of traffic on the BQE
If it doesn't move I think I will
soon turn into an SOB
This trip I regret, "waah!"
Tim got his pants wet, "waah!"
I am the Daddy. "Are we there yet?"

Poking, choking, fighting children
Don't you see the joke is all on me
(poke-poke-poke! ouch-ouch-ouch! NOT-MY-FAULT!)
See how they eat like pigs in a sty
And stain the seats
I'm crying

Sally broke her iPod, Timmy's feeling rather soggy
Elementary homework, slinging hairy Chicklets
Now we have to turn around because nobody's home
This trip I regret, "waah!"
Tim got his pants wet, "waah!"
I am the daddy. Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
No we are not there yet
Are we there yet!
Are we there yet!
Are we there yet!
No kids no kids no we are not there yet
No kids no kids no we are not there yet
No kids no kids no we are not there yet
No kids no kids no we are not there yet...
(fade out under kids yelling at each other)