You turned fifty and you had male menopause
The moment that you bought a Corvette
That was painted red
Then you had the transplants
You were trying to have more hair
Taking Viagra so you could
Be better in bed
You got a young blond girl in the sack
And you almost had a heart attack
You said oh no
Aging gracefully won't do

Well you forgot middle age
Can be so cruel
And I think you're acting like
A dumb old fool

(Instrumental)

Weekend warrior playing some basketball
Soon you're gonna be rubbing
On lots of Ben-Gay
Straining muscles
While attempting a slam dunk
Acting like a teenager
From another day
You went to the doctor for some advice
His expert opinion was very nice
You said oh no
Taking it easy won't do

Well you forgot middle age
Can be so cruel
And I think you're acting like
A dumb old fool

Your energy levels have been going down
And there are days you cannot
Get up out of bed
Tried to tell you
To check your sugar level now
But I can't seem to get through
Your granite-like head
You went to the doctor for some advice
His expert opinion was very nice
You said oh no
Quitting alcohol won't do

Well you forgot middle age
Can be so cruel
And I think you're acting like
A dumb old fool