if you'd just inspect
everybody, that was hired by you
from elvish worlds...there's some finks
somebody, sent to infect you

all the toys they will wreck
they're a clan and they're liable to expand
they'll blow up your sleigh
and then ol' santa can't do his thing

you're the kind of gentleman
who don't want anyone blown away
get a grip on this race, boy
or no christmas day

inspect your elves...ho ho ho ho ho ho
inspect your elves...hee hee hee hee hee hee
if you don't inspect your elves
ain't nobody gonna get no christmas loot
fa la la la la la la
inspect your elves...inspect your elves

they've been plottin' your sinkin'
they ain't workin' when they know the coast is clear
they're gonna push the work backwards
till there won't be no yule this year

keep tabs on those in residence
cause there's been some pollution
little men from way down south...kill you off
for a final solution

oh, you're rushin' these vermin
and they don't really look so tame
you're dumb enough to think
they'll quake at the big fat man

inspect your elves
inspect your elves