Censors starkness doth offend
They pixilate parts women/men
Television standards keeping
Audiences eager for peeping
Compromise, a decision that explains
Tush remains
We watch "Afraid and Naked"

In nightly dreams I set the stage
An unclad woman half my age
Awkward glances when we first meet
Into the steaming jungle we retreat
When my foot is stabbed by the tip of a poisoned thorn
It's soft-core porn
We are afraid and naked

Saw on the jungle trail, I swore
Ten million fire ants, maybe more
Nights we huddle without sleeping
Days we're sweating without drinking
Eat it raw, a rattlesnake that we both share
Just grim and bare
We're still afraid and naked

"Fool", said I, "There is no prize".
Leeches crawling on my thighs
Mental stresses might defeat you
An alligator might eat you
While the sky in chilly raindrops fell
Cold as hell
Alone, afraid and naked

And the wind and water sprayed
The flimsy shelter that we made
And my body shivered its warning
That hypothermia was forming
"And the signs", say the medics "are telling us mortality's nigh.
You're about to die".
For ratings, on "Afraid and Naked"