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Song Parodies -> "Sounds of Starbucks"

Original Song Title:

"Sound of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Sounds of Starbucks"

Parody Written by:

Andy Kogut

The Lyrics

Hello hipster my old friend
You’ve congregated here again
Wearing oversized hemp backpacks
To house your laptops, phone and hackysacks
As you sit there with your meticulously
Coiffed goatee
These are the sounds…of Starbucks

At the coffee shops they stay
With the obnoxious, stagnant fray
That couple just ordered gluten-free teas
And Ashley spelt her name with three e’s
Oh from where do these mindless people come?
My God, they’re dumb
These are the sounds…of Starbucks

And when you think it can’t get worse
Wait until the crowds disperse
And see the refuse that is left behind
Discarded screenplays that will hurt your mind
Because they’re awful, yes, but also arrogant
Throw-up in print
These are the sounds...of Starbucks

But now to much dismay and horror
Starbucks keeps expanding its store
Onslaughts of coloured patterned socks
Infiltrating wooden booths in flocks
Can you please turn down your “Modest Mouse” Brandon
Nice man bun

These are the sounds... of Starbucks

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   11
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User Comments

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Peet - August 28, 2019 - Report this comment
Touché!
Dr. Oliver Clozoff - August 28, 2019 - Report this comment
This is truly brilliant.
Agrimorfee - August 28, 2019 - Report this comment
Very very good. To truly encapture the "Sounds" of Starbucks, there needs to be also "i'd a mocha green fizzy latte Columbian dark squeeze venta with a twist of lemon, no cream"...and some Jason Mraz music.
Arch Vile - August 28, 2019 - Report this comment
I think I'm going to switch to a competitor brand of coffee shop, if those still exist. How's Dunkin Donut's these days? Tim Horton's?
CML - August 28, 2019 - Report this comment
I thought I was going to be the enlightened Amiright village elder who was going to point out that this was very, very good, but a couple of old timers beat me to it. I agree with them --very good. You missed the sub for "still remains" in the first stanza,though. Fix that up before you perform this at your local Starbucks, will you? ;-D
CML - August 28, 2019 - Report this comment
You opened the door for me to post my own "Sounds of Silence" parody. I did it years ago but never posted it at Amiright because, at the time, the site was plagued by trolls who stirred up immense sh*tstorms of negativity over any opinion they didn't like. But it's got some great lines, so .....
Current - August 29, 2019 - Report this comment
WAS plagued?! Seriously? That suggests that it ain’t now.

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