Goaltendah,
He's the man, the man with the nasty job
Puck hits can throb
It's a mind bendah,
Why someone
Would fill this position in..
Hard pucks are sin

Money offers must pour in their ear
Padded suits soften shoots, but I'd fear
That a slapshot real hot would blistah
My anatomy...

As Mistah...Goaltendah
I'll not be..an athlete in this wild sport
Ain't Goalie sort

Let them keep all their millions a year,
I'll remain just a fan who will cheer
'Cause a slapshot too hot could blistah
My anatomy....
As Mistah...Goaltendah
Even worse...
Than dangers of hard pucked nubs,
They swing their clubs..

Game's outa' control
Not my role
Too risky at goal
I'll stroll,
Or just bowl...

Goaltendah...