I got a double-barrel and I shoot
At every living thing, like owls that hoot.
This beats a gat when you wanna down some kine,
Turkeys with a wattle, strut.
Love poachin', but there's fines.

I strolled out one day and I shot a chick.
Tonight I'll eat it and have bones to pick,
And I'll cook that swan that I wasted with my nine-millimeter pistol, 'cause
Glock poachin's also fine.

I bent down and turned around 'cause I saw a skink;
I steadied, then I wasted it, right after a mink
I belted down some tepid wine, then gin did I drink--
A heady nose, an herbal prize--I'm in the pink.

I'm gonna blow away what's in my sight:
A little kitten, pink nose, fluffy white.
But when I hit that cop, I incurred more than a fine.
He broke my pistol, shotgun and
Lugged po' me in for crime.

[judge soliloquy]

I'm held in court, then no surprise: I'm in the clink.

I can't yell here, 'cause no one hears my plight.
They started kissin' every corp'ral site.
The kissin' finally stops; then they're courtin' with the pine.
I'm thrown in where the cons dwell; thugs
Love pokin' 'neath my spine,
Love pokin' 9 to 9,
Love pokin' like I'm guy-uy-uy-uy-gyne.