[INGEBORG:]

Don't care much for scatology;
we're much more than our biology!
Don't care much for explicit sex--
Get turned off by pornographic texts,

[BOTH:]

Still, we think censorship is wrong
If we told you not to write your song
What a terrible loss it would be!


[JARED:]

Don't know much about Tolkien's books
Or that Swedish I heard you took;
Sick of hearing 'bout Sesame--
No more kiddie shows, enough for me!

[BOTH:]

Still, we've all got to get along:
If we told you not to write your song,
What a terrible loss it would be!


[INGEBORG:]

Now I don't claim
to be a "5" author,
But I'm trying to be,

[JARED:]

So maybe by being
a "5" author, people,
I can win your votes for me.


[INGEBORG:]

Don't know much about hip-hop trends,
don't know much about Eminem--

[JARED:]

Don't know much about country tunes
Or the latest Japanese cartoons.

[BOTH]:

Still, we're glad the site is going strong;
If we told you not to write your song,
What a terrible loss it would be!

[INGEBORG and JARED alternate doo-wop lines, as BACKGROUND VOCALS recap the verse endings:]

Ladadada.......(Scatology)
Oh-whoa-whoa (Biology)
Ladada.....(Tolkien's books)
Whoa-oh-h...(Swedish took)

[INGEBORG and JARED sing together again:]

Still, we're glad the site is going strong;
If we told you not to write your song,
What a terrible loss it would be!