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Song Parodies -> "Seventy Sick Platoons"
Original Song Title:
"Seventy-Six Trombones"
Original Performer:
Robert Preston in The Music Man
Parody Song Title:
"Seventy Sick Platoons"
Parody Written by:
David Chrenko
The Lyrics
Seventy sick platoons fled to get first aid,
Where a hundred curvaceous nurses helped them mend.
They were followed by rows and rows of our finest GI Joes.
The cream chipped beef had done them in.
Seventy-six bored troops slept beside their guns,
'Til a hundred intense sergeants blew their minds.
There was smoke rising from the trees - giggling infantry.
They had bongs of every shape and kind.
Found an odd bell-bottomed sailor in an old pontoon.
Sail on, Napoleon - Now he's Section 8.
Tin-star armchair generals - like big baboons.
Hoping soon - they'd be back in the states.
There were fifty walkie talkies out of batteries.
Portable toilets were icing in the cold.
Soldier butts of every size - were frozen to them side by side.
Their full agony cannot be told.
Seventy-six Marines who were out on leave,
Had challenged a hundred Fly-Boys in a bar.
There were many more casualties than we dealt the enemy.
And that's how we almost lost the war!
Where a hundred curvaceous nurses helped them mend.
They were followed by rows and rows of our finest GI Joes.
The cream chipped beef had done them in.
Seventy-six bored troops slept beside their guns,
'Til a hundred intense sergeants blew their minds.
There was smoke rising from the trees - giggling infantry.
They had bongs of every shape and kind.
Found an odd bell-bottomed sailor in an old pontoon.
Sail on, Napoleon - Now he's Section 8.
Tin-star armchair generals - like big baboons.
Hoping soon - they'd be back in the states.
There were fifty walkie talkies out of batteries.
Portable toilets were icing in the cold.
Soldier butts of every size - were frozen to them side by side.
Their full agony cannot be told.
Seventy-six Marines who were out on leave,
Had challenged a hundred Fly-Boys in a bar.
There were many more casualties than we dealt the enemy.
And that's how we almost lost the war!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
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Ah, so that's what's really going on in Iraq... very funny :-)
A lot of good lines - i liked "frozen side to side" best. And I remember the creamed chip beef - SOS!
Ahh....the old SOS!
You have nothing to fear from the ghost of Allan Sherman.
I cannot believe someone gave this all ones! This is VERY clever! Great parody!
Like the rest of you, my main purpose is to share something I've put together and hopefully, give you a laugh. I am curious myself, though, how anyone could objectively give this a "one". Did the butt frozen to the can hit a little too close to home for someone?
Funny stuff because it's timeless (unless the military becomes replaced by computers and robots!).
Don't worry about it, Dave. Those Robert Preston groupies are everywhere. It was good.
Very nice work, David, and a fitting addition to the tradition of military parodies. My dad was in WWII and he used to sing us a song about Spam when we were on family vacations. There's nothing quite like the dark sense of humor that comes out of the war experience. Kudos. d;:^)
I wouldn't worry about the occasional 1s, David - at one point a few months ago, there was a bod whose sole raison d'etre seemed to be to get the first vote on any parody with all 1s. There's even a few parodies written about it.
Great work, David --- just write your stuff, post it, and have fun --- don't sweat the votes, dude. It's always good to enable the commentary option - people's written comments mean so much more than anonymous votes anyway. Keep up the good work.
Glad to see someone else here knows who Allan Sherman was. "Al 'n' Yetta always sit togetta, watching TV every single night..."
Yeah Michael, I grew up in North Jersey on a steady diet of stuff like My Son the Folksinger, Myron Cohen, Stan Freberg, and Jean Shepherd. All these guys were great storytellers.
Do not make a stingy sandwich, pile the cold cuts high----Customers should see salami-comin' thru the rye
Great parody. I can really appreciate this since I spent a few years in the military myself. Nice work.
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