When I was just a new college grad, living in New York
The yuppies all had cell phones and I didn't understand why.
Now some-teen years later, I'm attached to my very own PDA
It's with me all day long and even charges by my bed at night.

It “beep beeps” for a text, goes "ding" for meetings,
then "brrrrs" for an email.
Could never live without it so I just pay the monthly bill.

The first time that I picked it up, I had to blink my eyes.
Where the heck was the button that I could push
to make letters capitalized?
I first pushed one and then another, and then I may have yelled fudge.
And, when I get a new message, here is what it does:

It goes "ring" for the phone and "boink" when I’m late.
And, "buzzzz" when on vibrate.
Could never live without it so I just pay the monthly bill.

It first rang once and then beeped twice,
Then three emails at one time.
And, when I heard them all at once, I was up on cloud nine.
Heart started to pound and my fingers raced all over the keyboard
When I hit transmit, my cellular phone keeps me in touch all day long.

It rings "shrill" for my mom and "splat" for my ex
And, "whirr" for my boyfriend.
Could never live without it so I just pay the monthly bill.

(Interlude of “ring tones”)

Well, two years have gone by too quickly, it seems.
My cell phone contract is up.
So, yesterday I went to the Verizon Wireless Store.
My eyes nearly popped right out of my head
With all the choices for me.
Do I choose another Palm Treo?
Or, a brand new Blackberry?

Will it “beep beep” for a text? Go "ding" for meetings?
And "brrr" for an email?
Here’s my friendly reminder to
Pay your monthly cellular bill.