Muff, no access: rag on; Give none, can she --
For four or five days or a week, but seems like e-ternity...
Little Tommy Turtle loved that bristly Muff
Did naughty things in loving acts; could never get enough! But, --

Muff, no access: rag on; full of debris
No frolicking; naught but a fist can she offer to his plea
Muff, no access: rag on; gaze wistfully
No frolicking; they must subsist on the late shows on TV

Together they would revel; they'd cavort to much avail
Tommy kept his beak out for his favorite bit of tail
Earth moved; lightning; thunder would roar whene'er they came
Tommy dipped for hours his flag, until he came up lame! Oh,

Muff, that frothy flagon, sweet wine it be
He'd drink until his thirst was quenched to the ultimate degree
Muff, the tragic rag in, now absentee
She lost a few days every month; 'bout a week for every three

A hag can live forever, but not an ovar-y
Maxi wings and tampon strings go 'way, eventu'lly
One "red" day, it happened; her friend Aunt Flo came no more
And Muff did not need rag on; it went back in the drawer

Their limbs were locked in loving; green scales flew like rain
Muff no longer had to pray each month, for cherry stain
Without her lifelong "friend", Muff could not be Mom
So Muff and Tommy Turtle gladly frolicked with aplomb!

Tom's pelagic shaggin' crossed all the sea
They frolicked bareback; nothing missed, but the fear of pregnancy
Muff, no more with rag on, to-tally free
And frolicked, made love, hugged, and kissed, with Ma Nature's guarantee!

Muff, no more with rag on, thanks Nature's laws
And frolics in the autumn midst of her life, grateful because:
Muff, no more with rag on, wins Tom's applause
And frolics joyfully, quite pleased with her flippered man, no paws!