I feel clever,
very clever;
I feel clever and witty and smart;
When I'm singing,
Good feelings seem to fill my heart.

But some days when,
I'm not clever,
I feel angry and pissed off and mad;
On those bad days,
It's impossible to sing like I'm glad.

Force the words to fit in a pleasant rhyme,
What the hell takes so much time.
Find a clever verb,
Where's the just-right word--
Going out of my mind.

I can't give up,
Have to live up,
To reputations I've tried to create;
I've earned time off,
But I can't seem to stop•it's my fate.

Malcolm Higgins,
William Tong, too,
Fill the website with their songs and puns;
They have thousands,
I have only one seventy one.

I do what I can to surpass them both
Keeping my ratings near five;
Gotta keep it fresh,
Gotta keep it meshed,
Gotta stay alive.

Come a day soon,
When we'll all swoon
Am I Right will award you for mirth;
But for just now,
Congratulations Bob on your birth.