TOMMY: [spoken]
Look at her: a former politician
Condemned for forlorn formal erudition
Last night, such sweet suprises Sarah sung
If not gold-studded, further in the English tongue

SARAH: [spoken, modestly]
Awwww!

TOMMY: [spoken]
Awww...
Listen, girls and boys!
'08: Miss Wasilla's poor oration
Cost Sir John McCain his electation!

SARAH: [spoken, apologetically]
Low-rate... He really missed it with his gamble

TOMMY: [spoken]
He did.

[sung]
Listen as she takes the stand
Droppin' "g"s an' "d" in "and"
Hear her speak; pronunciation: dreck!
Sarah, whaddja learn at school?

SARAH: [spoken]
Readin' an' huntin'; Golden Rule

TOMMY: [spoken]
So much better last night on Glen Back!

[sung]
Hear her sentences, complete:
Subject, object, verb: replete
Unlike with Katie Couric -- What was *that*? [1]
Speaking South Alaskan drawl
Just like this one:

SARAH:
-- "Y'all!"

TOMMY:
"Y'all"?
But last night, Sarah Palin knocked me flat

It's Tina Fey who put her in her place
Elocution, thought TT: disgrace

Much better English, Sarah Palin now does speak
Not knowing; hesitation? No more of phrase oblique
If you spoke in '08, Ma'am
As did on the Glen Beck show
Why, *you* might be VP 'stead of Joe

SARAH: [whispered, discretely]
(I made your hard-on, Sir?)

TOMMY:
A candidate's way of speaking: perceived truthly, or as liar
When O-bama talked, he made some voters think him a Messiar
Straight-talking language, I'm afraid we'll never get
Oh, why can't our leaders
Learn
To
Set a good example to people whose gaffe-ings so painfully bring jeers?
"Barack's light-skinned Negro accent disappears" [2]
"Be bringing our coffee", said Clinton, "back just a couple years" [3]
Why, in America, an honest pol ne'er appears

I'd like to meet the one: taught Sarah: speak so well
Agreed with proposition: Should co-host SNL
By chance, if the network lets them: Ratings for NBC [4]
(They said they'd make fun of themselves, actually
(And Sarah would pronounce it properly) [5]

The lady's elabiation in the campaign's summer: fright'ning
In eighteen months, go forward: said some things: astute; enlight'ning
Progress in English: I'd regard it as unique
No longer ailin'
Who taught Ms. Palin ...
Good ... technique?

[Reprise]
Some genius English teacher: hours, must have drilled:
Don't end with preposition: "..upon", said, "which to build" [6]
If she speaks as she does now, instead of her former selve [7]
Why, you'd best all watch out: 2012 [8]

Who taught coherence, syntax, grammar not awry?
Who taught Ms. Palin?
Greatly "up-scale-in'"? [9]
Truth: 'Twas I!




[1] The widely-replayed 2008 interview with Katie Couric, with a lot of rambliling, incompleted sentences, obviously attempting to cover up the lack of a good answer. (Much like Teddy Kennedy's first press conference after Chappaquiddick.)

[2] If you just came in from Mars, Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid was revealed to have said during the 2008 POTUS campaign that then-candidate Obama was good because he was "a light-skinned African-American who doesn't have a Negro dialect, except when he wants to." (That's bad enough, but wasn't it Hillary Clinton who tried to affect an African-American "accent" when she spoke in Selma, Alabama?)

[3] Also while you were on Mars, it was revealed that former POTUS Bill Clinton said of Obama during the '08 campaign, "A few years back, he'd have been bringing us all our coffee."

[4] Host Glen Beck made a public offer to NBC, the rival network on which "Saturday Night Live" runs, to let Ms. Palin and himself co-host the show one night. He predicted it would boost ratings (probably correct, IMHO, regardless of the viewer's motive); NBC in general is at the bottom of the ratings among the four major US television networks.

[5] As part of the above offer, Beck promised that he would save the staff the trouble of making fun of him by making fun of himself, frequently. Palin said she, too, would poke tons of fun at herself. Best idea: Beck said that Palin should do an impersonation of then-famous Palin-impersonator Tina Fey. Now, *that* would be funny. :)

[6] I don't remember the whole sentence, because TT The Grammarian was stunned to hear Palin say, "upon which to build" vs. the usual "to build on". *Somebody's* been TuToring her...

[7] "Selve" is perfectly correct according to Chaucer, the greatest literary figure of medieval England. So there.
(kidding! ... just poetic license, or "licence", as Chaucer would have said. :-)

[8] Non-partisan advice to all candidates: Never underestimate your adversary, whether in the primaries (same party) or general election (opposing parties). This is not the same person as eighteen months ago. You heard it here first.

[9] An irresistible pun, as will be seen very shortly. Sorry.