As I'm cruising my Chevy out on the interstate,
Looming large, in my left side rearview sight, (rear sight)
Painting nails, checking hairdo, and texting on her cell,
Is a gal in a small Ford Focus, white

Just drive on by,
Impatient horn-er..
Why be in such a hurry, Holy Cow!
Just drive on by,
Turn at the corner..
I sure don't need no bumper sticker, now..

Whisper close, I can tell that she's missed her morning floss
Remnants from egg McMuffins dot her snarl (her snarl)
Like a dancer, I brake tap, but she will not back off
Neon lips, loudly mouth an "F-you, Karl.."

Just drive on by,
Impatient horn-er..
Why be in such a hurry, Holy Cow!
Just drive on by,
Then take the corner
I sure don't need no bumper sticker, now..

Through a gauntlet of orange barrels, I steer my Malibu
Trapped within a one-lane zone for a stretch (a stretch)
She keeps bobbing and weaving like Mike Tyson would do
Never did see a more frustrated wretch..

Hey, drive on by,
Impatient horn-er.
Zig zag around these barrels, Holy Cow!
Please drive on by,
Female Forlorn-er!
I sure don't need no bumper sticker, now..

Fifty-five is the limit, and I'm doin' fifty-six
That extra mile-an-hour should suffice, (suffice)
When we're clear of construction, she floors and roars on past
Flips me her middle finger..aww, not nice..

A brief ten seconds later lights flash upon the scene,
A Trooper Tom has stopped this little lass,(little lass)
She paints meek and humble, no longer "Madame Mean."
The cop writes her a ticket, as I pass

Sweet as that pie,
Of old Jack Horner,
I flash a "Told You So" smile at this frau
Just drove on by,
Speed signs had warned her
She won't be no one's bumper sticker, now

She won't be no one's bumper sticker, now