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Song Parodies -> "My Grandmother's Cat"
Original Song Title:
"My Grandfather's Clock"
Original Performer:
Larry Hooper
Parody Song Title:
"My Grandmother's Cat"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
This version is not to the old-time original, but to the somewhat different Lawrence Welk version with Larry Hooper on lead (bass) vocal, on the flip side of Welk's 1961 Number 1 hit, the instrumental "Calcutta." It's also based on reality.
My grandmother's cat
is too large for the shelf
so he sits knocking things on the floor.
He's bigger by far
than old Garfield himself
and he weighs about twenty pounds more.
The Earth shook on the morn
of the day that he was born
and the veterinarian wowed
and he stopped
short
never to hear again
when the young cat meowed.
(Meow!)
My grandmother tries
crossword puzzles each night
but she never gets to "10 Across"
'cause there on her lap
her cat nuzzles up tight
then he tries to show Grandma who's boss.
'Cause this big feline blimp
wants a serving of shrimp
so his stomach's much more well-endowed.
And she stopped
short
never to rest again
when the big cat meowed.
(Meow!)
He sits by the window
to watch every day
as the birds and the critters go by.
She won't let him out
so he can't hunt and play
and the chipmunks know they will not die.
He has stripped nearly bare
all the lining on his chair
even though Grandma says it's not allowed.
But she stopped
short
saying, "Oy, vey..." again
when the big cat meowed!
(Meow!)
is too large for the shelf
so he sits knocking things on the floor.
He's bigger by far
than old Garfield himself
and he weighs about twenty pounds more.
The Earth shook on the morn
of the day that he was born
and the veterinarian wowed
and he stopped
short
never to hear again
when the young cat meowed.
(Meow!)
My grandmother tries
crossword puzzles each night
but she never gets to "10 Across"
'cause there on her lap
her cat nuzzles up tight
then he tries to show Grandma who's boss.
'Cause this big feline blimp
wants a serving of shrimp
so his stomach's much more well-endowed.
And she stopped
short
never to rest again
when the big cat meowed.
(Meow!)
He sits by the window
to watch every day
as the birds and the critters go by.
She won't let him out
so he can't hunt and play
and the chipmunks know they will not die.
He has stripped nearly bare
all the lining on his chair
even though Grandma says it's not allowed.
But she stopped
short
saying, "Oy, vey..." again
when the big cat meowed!
(Meow!)
OK, it's not totally based on reality. This linebacker of a cat actually has an incredibly wimpy voice, and he's such a momma's boy, and he doesn't trust anybody else. I don't know what we're gonna do with him if Grandma goes first.
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| 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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Wonderful parody.
"but she never gets to "10 Across"/'cause there on her lap/her cat..."; so true. You get to five across here. That shouldn't be puzzling.
grandmas and cats...what more can you possibly want?...5s
meow! very good. 5's
Brilliant. In my case recently it's been the cat walking across the keyboard when I'm trying to tzxfgubj b
555 oz. of cat food.
I showed this to my grandmother. She laughed. (Whew!) Phil: My mother's cat does the sametrheiln will ya get off the keyboard, ya big furry fasdiouy? Honestly. Oh, such a beast! Now I can't see the screen, ya big faskdj;lkasdurfliaksdf,n!
Say it ain’t so! Mr. Rock and Roll Pacholek introducing AmIright to Lawrence Welk???
Interestingly, the original version of this song, which was one of the two most popular songs in the United States in 1876, was turned into a political song parody twelve years later. The opponents of President Benjamin Harrison created “His Grandfather’s Hat” to suggest that he did not measure up to the standards of his grandfather, President William Henry Harrison.
Interestingly, the original version of this song, which was one of the two most popular songs in the United States in 1876, was turned into a political song parody twelve years later. The opponents of President Benjamin Harrison created “His Grandfather’s Hat” to suggest that he did not measure up to the standards of his grandfather, President William Henry Harrison.
William Henry Harrison died after a month. Benjamin Harrison should have been so lucky. He seems to have been a decent enough man, but he was poorly suited to the Presidency. And he was so lacking in accomplishment that he was the last of the 43 in my Presidential Parody Project to be commemorated: "Indiana Sent Me." Anyway, the reason I did the Welk/Hooper version of the song is that this is the version I know. My mother still has the 45 of "Calcutta"/"My Grandfather's Clock." In case anyone wonders, Hooper was born in 1916 in Missouri and sang with Welk from 1948 to 1969, then battled heart trouble, then came back from 1974 to 1980 before dying in 1983. Along with the Lennon Sisters (no relation to John), he was probably the most popular singer on the show, due to his booming voice and, later, his courageous comeback.
My grandmother died in May. My mother took her cat in, and he seems okay, except that the three established cats don't like him. But at least he's no longer a nervous wreck around other people.
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