SPOKEN:
This is a guy out of control. In the course of the crazed one’s history, he’s had more than his share of allies, braving reality to support his deranged fables. Each day, a new crisis has arisen. His mental-health’s abandoned, and authorities question “Adonis DNA” contention; what is likely talking is the crack. And his declaration that he also has “tiger blood” won’t cease. Sniffin’-it Sheen’s kicked out of his show. What to do?

Well, let me tell you the story of a man named Charlie. . .
Gets more manic with every day.
Once two million in his pocket, nix to wife and family.
Says he has special DNA.

But will he ever return? No he’ll never return to his place on planet earth.
In denial forever, off the deep end. . .lost ’im;
He’s a man who’ll never return.

Charlie’s havin’ a good time with his wenches; they satin’
The needs of a man masking pain.
How he got there’s no conundrum: coke takes all his nickels;
Charlie’s hookers also need pay’n’.

But will he ever return? No he’ll never return to this place called planet earth.
In denial forever, off the deep end. . .lost ’im;
He’s a man increasingly spurned.

Well, all night long, Charlie writhes—fornication
Spiked by a constant coking spree.
How can he afford these steamy sisters? The network
Has just closed down his comedy.

So will he ever return? No he’ll never return to the place where the tape turns.
In denial forever, off the deep end. . .cost ’im;
He’s a man whose bridges he burns.

Charlie’s wife went down to near assassination;
She’s afraid he’d cut her in two.
The dude’s now gropin’ bimbos who handle Charlie’s gland itch. . .
No restraint from humpin’ his crew.

So will he ever return? No, he’ll never return to this place called planet earth.
In denial forever, off the deep end. . .lost ’im;
He’s a man who once millions earned.

Now he is kibitzin’; it’s cost ’im all respect, and this scandal
Has people listening, and they say:
“Guy’s impaired; decreased any hope. Go silent
About your Adonis DNA!”

So will he ever return? He’ll forever be spurned. And no lessons has he learned.
In denial forever, off the deep end. . .cost ’im.
He’s a man who’ll never return,
He’s a man who ain’t lessons learned,
He a man whose bridges he’s burned.

Crazed dude, Charlie.