R.N.'s with bad breath, rude taxicab drivers
Long boring speeches from divorce survivors
Pet names for goldfish, cute bows on a cat
I Wonder Is There A Visine For That...

Dogs that won't housetrain, restrooms without tissue
Paper boys lawn tossing yesterday's issue
Angry door greetings above "Welcome" mats
I Wonder Is There A Visine For That...

Sabre Dance played on a flat occarina
Pies in the face, or a handed subpoena
Bladder retention, your car's freeway flat
I Wonder Is There A Visine For That...

When the snow's deep
When you can't sleep
Or a friend wears plaid
Is there an eyedrop
To just magically stop
Every bad day we've had?

Stiff peanut butter that messes your bread up
Achy necked mornings, you can't get your head up
Oranges with thin peels, and knotted shoe strings
Is there a Visine to end all such things?

Ready to suntan when clouds make it shady
Urges to go out and kick an old lady
Faucets that drip nights, in your house, a bat
I Wonder is there a Visine for that..

Freezes and crashes on your desk computer
Long hair and piercings of your daughter's suitor
Identity thieves stealing cash, leave you flat
I doubt if there is a Visine for that

When the fridge breaks,
When the earth quakes,
In your ear, a gnat
Your spot, fail to mark it,
Lost car, where'd you park it?
There's no Visine...for....that

No, there's no Visine for that..