Snowflakes are lovely but I've filled my quota
I've had enough of life in Minnesota
Silver icicles have lost their romance
Polka seems more of a dirge than a dance

Guys say "you betcha" and leave behind spouses
To trudge off and fish in their ice-fishing houses
Ludefisk's still quite a mystery to me
This is all abnormal psychology

Wintery bedrooms and wint'ry libidos
Summers spent dodging humungous mosquitoes
Norwegian neighbors who never approve
Do you wonder why I'm condering a move?

Ice in my driveway just put me in traction
Sidewalks are ready for NHL action
My dog dashed outside for a romp in the yard
Now she's not moving; she looks frozen hard

I'm looking south to that great land of cotton
Days on the tundra will soon be forgotten
I'll trade my Sorrels for Speedos and thongs
I'll lie on the beach and I'll right frozen wrongs

We have the worst climate of all in the nation
And everyone's suff'ring from light deprivation
Ice-covered winters that won't yield to spring...
That's it, we're moving, let's pack all our things!

Refrain

When the frost bites
And no birds sing
And you're feeling blue
I'll send you a postcard with palm trees and things
And soon you'll be moving too!