Woke up, I saw a Chelsea porno, and the first thing that I felt
Was a bulge inside my zipper, as it hit below the belt
It came a springing up like Clinton's did
And propping up the table top

Oh, she's so wild
She's Billy C.'s child
But I'm sure he's not a proud pop

Woke up, I saw that Chelsea porno, and the next thing that I did
Is to look at her real closely, and make sure it was his kid
I'll bet Hillary is poopin' bricks, and calling secret service

Oh, she's so wild
She's Hillary's child
And she's wearing out her cervix

Now the movie opens on a house that's big and white
And the little girl that once lived there
With wavy hair
And skin so fair
Now works a lot at night

Woke up, I saw that Chelsea porno, and the last thing that I knew
Was the F.B.I. was knocking, and they broke my front door through
And the feds poured in like Navy S.E.A.L. s, and took me on "vacation"
Oh, she's so who?
Got a brainwashing, too
From the secret operation

When the suture closes and the pain has gone away
I will keep my big mouth shut, all right
It wasn't right
I lost the fight
There's no one who will pay
For the record, did not
Wake up, see a Chelsea porno!!