[Banjo-solo intro; played the banjo-player from "Deliverance," a dead ringer for Dubya]

Well before 2000, his tongue started to slip
Perhaps he got brain damage 'cause he'd had too many sips.
His "noodle" appeared vacant, yet another term is "bean"—
Either way, his muddy blith'rin' makes him sound like he's preteen.

He ties his tongue and the blith'rin' keeps a-comin'.
He don't get high like Jenna, and his IQ's really low.
I wish in 2000 he had not been runnin'
And stayed down there in Texas, near the Gulf of Mexico.

We're sold down the river, because he is so damn dumb.
It would be best if he'd hunker down and, while at it, stay mum.
With nose held high, this preppy thinks that he's king.
He'll botch it and is sure to fail it he says anything.

He ties his tongue and the blith'ring keeps a-coming.
He's even less coherent than he was a while ago.
You hear nonsense when his mouth just keeps a-running—
There are missin' syllables, and he's muffed his lexico.

"Old Nick" Cheney says, "I think I can surmise
That this dummy wouldn't read a book placed right before his eyes."
Nick held his fire till he's in the Senate well,
Then he opened up on Vermont's son and gave him more than "hell." He. . .

Hired the son, who'd pretended he was runnin'
For president, but he's just the front man for the neos.
We're mired in war, so the "president" is mumblin',
Distractin' us from their misdeeds; we're gulled by Mephisto.

Well he rants and he lies and he panders and rambles.
Of all the rancid Bushes, he is no doubt the most slow.
His gaffes come so fast, you can't even catch 'em.
There are missin' syllables, and he's muffed his lexico.

Can't find the Canon—a bibliophobic clown.
When he gabs, he sounds like pater, also of botched-word renown.
His head is filled with mothballs; he's a chowderhead like Fine [Larry].
Every time he opens his maw, we know he's lost his mind.

They sired a son who is a blithering dummy—
A poster boy for why we should never overturn Roe.
Dad's a douchebag, and what a hag is mummy.
She missed a D&C, so now we're vexed by this bozo.

"One plus two, four."
Dumb as a door.
"It's a good war."
He's Satan's whore. . . .