Song Parodies -> "A Song About Celebrity Names"

Original Song Title:

"A Boy Named Sue"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"A Song About Celebrity Names"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Written in honor of the notorious (though occasionally cute) names celebrities have given their children. (The names Flynn, Monroe, Sage, Rose, and Willow have my seal of approval!)

I sit and watch celebrity news
Sitting beside me is a cup of booze
And my cat that I named Heavenly Hiraani Sue
On my TV screen was Beyonce and
Jay-Z smiling with their new baby girl
With the middle name Ivy and the first name Blue

Then I thought of Zuzu and dear Bear Blu
Chosen by Ms. Peterson and Ms. Silverstone
And Sage Moonblood of Sylvester Stallone
Speck Wildhorse is a dumb name, too
Along with Bronx Mowgli and poor Tu,
Whose last name is Morrow, rendering “Tu Morrow”

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
Shoulda just been named Piccadilly
Because Tiger Lily sounds quite silly
Robert Rodriguez chose R-based names: Rogue,
Rebel, Racer, Rhiannon, Rocket
The five of them will tell bullies to sock it

Katie Holmes named her cute daughter Suri
Next up could be a cute son named Flurry
Or maybe she’ll just opt for McFlurry
I wonder how Tom Cruise would feel ‘bout that
Maybe he’ll go for Murray Spat
Or maybe something along the lines of “Shat”

Instead of naming his daughter Michelle
Bob Geldof chose to name her Fifi Trixibelle
Followed by Pixie and Peaches Honeyblossom, though
They’re in good company with Dweezil,
Ahmet, Moon Unit, and Diva Muffin
Courtesy of rock musician Frank Zappa,
Dumb name pioneer!

Toni Braxton made a hit with Diezel
Followed up with a boy named Denim
If she were to have a daughter, would she name her Venom?
Then there are twins named Monroe and Moroccan
Donned by Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon
Speaking of geography, let’s not forget about… Egypt

Jamie Oliver’s over the
Rainbow with Petal Blossom Rainbow,
Buddy Bear, Poppy Honey, and Daisy Boo (Stinky Poo?)
There’s Pilot Inspektor and Audio
Science, Kal-El, Dolly Rebecca Rose,
Moxie Crimefighter, Zuma Nesta Rock, Banjo

There’s Apple and Jermajesty
Maybe they’ll marry and have a kid named Apple-sty
And demand she address her parents as Majesties
But what if Apple married a guy named Dye?
She’d name her kid John Tucker Must Dye
As in the movie of the same title

Though in the movie title it’s D-I-E
But hey, what difference does it make anyway?
Either spelling of the word would render the name dumb
Just consider a name like Willow Sage
Like a quality wine it’ll get better with age
Or if you’re bold you could go with Hud or Buck

You could take a cue from model Miranda
Kerr and her hot actor husband Orlando Bloom
And name your kid Flynn Christopher because it’s cute
Who was named after an ex who died
A wonderful way to memorialize
I know that if I have a kid, I think I’m gonna name it
Something cute but something unique, not something stupid!

The original song title and celebrity baby news inspired me to write this parody, and because I'm using names -- real and fictional -- my rhyming may not be perfect, much less consistent... but I tried.

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AFW - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Interesting and creative idea...are all these actual celebrity child names, or did you add some of your own?....and imagine what the poor kids will endure in school, (well, maybe not in private schools)

Rob Arndt - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

555! I remember the goold old days when the Phoenix kids had weird names ;-D

Rebekah Dub - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Thank you both. All but a few of the baby names in this parody are real. The few that aren't (Stinky Poo, Apple-sty, Flurry/McFlurry, Picadilly, Venom, Murray Spat, Shat, John Tucker Must Dye) are just predictions (though John Tucker Must DIE is a movie title) mostly used for rhyming/pacing purposes. I remember the Phoenixes, too! R.I.P., River.

John Barry - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Great take on the banality of celebrities.

Rebekah Dub - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Thank you, John! =)

Porfle Popnecker - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Very entertaining parody. I hate it when celebrities call attention to themselves by saddling their poor kids with idiotic monikers!

Rebekah Dub - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Thank you. I like a cute, unique name, but there's a fine line between unique and stupid, and 9 times out of 10, celebrity parents cross that line into "stupid" category.

Andria - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Great work, and I bet nearly ALL of these kids who haven't changed their names already will at some point. There were a few weird names in my school days (mid-80s to 2000), mostly surnames as first names, Native American names and foreign names, but those aren't "weird" in the way that celebrity names are. There WAS a girl named Fifi tho, who got so much s*** about her name that she changed it to Angela on her 18th birthday. 5s.

Rebekah Dub - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks! I thought MY name was weird for the longest time, but when I think of the celebrity names, I don't feel as bad. (To boot, I went to school with 3 different Rebekahs throughout my educational lifetime.) I don't blame Fifi for changing her name. Why didn't her parents just name her Fiona and call her Fifi for short?

Rebekah Dub - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

Adding to my previous comment, I read somewhere that a celebrity kid named Free changed his name to Timothy. I don't blame him either.

Andria - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

You're welcome. There were 4 or 5 other Andrias whom I went to school with... two of whom were in my homeroom in middle school. Thankfully I looked NOTHING like the other two. I don't know why they named her Fifi aside from her parents being airheads.

Rebekah Dub - January 17, 2012 - Report this comment

I had homeroom and several other classes with the first Rebekah, had high school with that Rebekah and another one (who went by Becky), and had some college classes with the third Rebekah, whom I'm still friends with today. They didn't look anything like me either. I knew an Andria as well, but she was a few years younger than me.

Uniqueness = Good - January 18, 2012 - Report this comment

I went to school with a guy named Elvis. I served in the Navy with a guy who has "Venus" for his first name. Ric Ocasek of the Cars and his wife Paulina Porizkova have a son named Oliver Orion Ocasek (OOO)! And there are some women with the name "Sussudio". Still, these names are better than "Meredith" or "Britanny" or "Britney" and such. They're so generic and too commonplace now. Cheer up, you elected to spell your name differently than "Rebecca". That can make a lot of difference in the long run. : )

Andria - January 18, 2012 - Report this comment

Uniqueness = Good: Is "Andria" a generic/commonplace name? ;-)

Rebekah Dub - January 18, 2012 - Report this comment

I think Orion is pretty cool, especially as a middle name. Better than some of the names celebs choose for their kids. (A friend of mine who is expecting plans to name her baby boy Oliver.) I heard the song "Sussudio" by Phil Collins, but not used as a name. Not a favorite, but interesting. I went to college with a Cinnamon,a Rosalind (whom I'm still friends with), and a Harmoni, went to high school with a Chelstin and a Maralee; my brother went to school with a teen mom who named her daughter Tequila Sunrise. As for my name, although I'm not complaining about it now (at least not anywhere near as much as I used to), there's a long family story behind it.

Uniqueness = Good - January 19, 2012 - Report this comment

Guess what, Rebekah? There's a husband + wife piano duo coming to my home city to play and the husband's first name is Orion. Also, I went to school with a guy whose middle name is Letterman. Also, Cassie is short for Cassiopeia, which is a constellation like Orion. Then there's "stuffy" names like Tiffany, Buffy and Muffy : (>

Rebekah Dub - January 20, 2012 - Report this comment

Oh, coolness! I know many Tiffanys and Cassies, but not too many Buffys or Muffys.

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