David grabbed his harp and he plucked a chord
And he got a "thumbs-up" from the Lord
'Cause he likes good music, just the same as me and you
When I hear my song, it gives me a lift
It's much better than a joint or a fifth
And won't leave my brain so baffled, Hallelu!

Now I'd heard that Sue has this rose tattoo
And I've always wanted to see it, too
Then I spied her one day, sunbathing in the nude
She saw me leering and she hollered "Stop!"
"Get out of here or I'll call a cop!"
But I saw what I came to see, Hallelu!

We'll they've locked me up in this cell before
I've shaken the bars and I've paced the floor
Seems I wind up here each week for something that I do
Then I felt the pain in my fallen arch
When the turnkey said "Get up! Let's march!
It's chain gang time, and you've got work to do!"

Then I learned something that I didn't know
'Til the sheriff slugged me down here below
In a special way that would not leave a bruise
"Well, you know that gal that you like to peek?
Her and me is gettin' married next week
And boy, you're now in a heap of deep doo doo!"

Well, he was pissed, and I had the proof
He dragged me up to the court house roof
I thought for sure my time on earth was through
He tied me to a swivel chair
He slapped my face and he yanked my hair
And from my lips a drop of blood he drew

I felt his fist, then I felt the pain
So I took the Savior's name in vain
Forgive me, Lord, what the hell else could I do?
He punched so hard I was seeing stars
But he was careful not to leave no scars
Just in case that I was fool enough to sue

He worked me over and it hurt so much
That I recoiled from the slightest touch
I couldn't even bend over to tie my shoe
He holds a blackjack like a grudge
So when I went before the circuit judge
All I would say was "Your Honor, howdy do?"

I had seen something that I shouldn't see
But that's no excuse for brutality
Well, I've got six months to figure out what to do
I just slipped something in his coffee cup
And I do believe his term is up
When I get out, maybe I'll run off with....

Darlene, or Rachel, but I never again wanna look at Sue!