A tough VP named grumpy Dick grew restless in DC
He longed to go back to Texas on a quail shooting spree
He put on his cowboy brim with a shirt buttoned down
But his boss warned as he walked out

Don't take your guns to town Dick
Leave your guns right here Dick
Don't take your guns to town

He laughed and said to George
"You know that I'm the man
I can shoot more quick and straight than you ever can
But aside from certain Senators I'd gun nobody down"
But George Bush warned as he walked out

Don't take your guns to town Dick
Leave your guns right here Dick
Don't take your guns to town

Dick sang a song as on he rode
His rifle in his lap
Then he landed in back country
Plenty of quail to trap
He arrivved right at the ranch
Met Harry and his friend
But George W's words echoed again

Don't take your guns to town Dick
Leave your guns right here Dick
Don't take your guns to town

After drinking some strong liquor to get ready for the hunt
Dick and Harry and buddies went out
Determined not to punt
A flock of quail were hidden directly in the brush
But as Harry got ready and aimed to flush

Don't take your guns to town Dick
Leave your guns right here Dick
Don't take your guns to town

Harry aimed and got ready to shoot those quail right down
But Dick's bullets caught him first and laid him on the ground
As Harry was in the ICU nursing his wounded gourd
On Fox News we heard Dick's censured words

Don't take your guns to town Dick
Leave your guns right here Dick
Don't take your guns to town