Oh, the names actors give kids,
Makes ya' think they must've flipped lids,
Never "Johns, or Dons, or Jacks, Sids,"
Tagged like ro-bot machines..

Products of weird mental powers,
Crazy names like, "Ivory Towers"
"Petal Blossom" from the flowers,
Just imagine the torture when teens..

La da da, da da da, da da..
La da da, da da da, da da..

Talkin' ce-leb-ri-ties,
And the name games they play..

Label offspring with, "Daisy Boo"
"Willow, Rumer, Sailor, Rainbow", too
"Ocean, Scout, and Sonnet, Baby Blue"..
Who can understand their aim...

Beckham's newborn, "Harper Seven"
There's another son they call, "Brook-lyn"
Kim Basinger's child is "Ireland"
Poor kids have to feel the shame..

What's with ce-leb-re-ties,
And the name games they play..

People askin' 'em, "Who ya?"
Imagine havin' to say, "Tallulah"?
Think you're playin' em, they shoo ya'
Why not plain names, Oh Lord!

"Richies" sit around and meditate
Dream up monikers, they think are great,
Carin' not if they're what kid's'll hate
Need to have their ego soared..

Talkin' ce-leb-re-ties,
And the name games they play..

All ya' gotta' do is watch tv,
When their's soon a famous birth to be,
They'll be called "Slope" or "Serenity"
Maybe even, "Jell" or "Jam"

Have all actors lost their sanity,
Hows about "Pride" or "Vanity"
Or a nice name like, "Hugh Manity"
They just don't give a damn..(damn, damn)

Talkin' ce-leb-re-ties,
And the name games they play..

Talkin' ce-leb-re-ties,
And the name games they play..

(Fade)
Whoaa.. "Fade"..now there's another great name...