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Song Parodies -> "If You Wanna Be President (2012 edition)"
Original Song Title:
"If You Wanna Be Happy"
Original Performer:
Jimmy Soul
Parody Song Title:
"If You Wanna Be President (2012 edition)"
Parody Written by:
Hu's On First
The Lyrics
Bob Rivers did a parody of this song called "If You Wanna Be President", about the 1988 and 1992 elections and the Gary Hart sex scandal. I decided to write an updated version about the current Republican primary cycle.
If you wanna be president of the U.S.A.
Don't go out shopping, get carried away
If you wanna get elected in 2012
Better leave that jewelry on the shelf
Gingrich went to Tiffany's
Went on a five-grand spending spree
Then his campaign ran aground
'Cause that ain't fis-cally sound
If you wanna move to Pennsylvania Ave.,
Better keep track of all the land you have
At a hunting camp that you use
There might be a rock that makes you lose
In the polls Rick Perry led
But then that rock said "N-----head"
He said a racist he was not
But it still hit him like a shot
If you wanna be President of the U.S.,
Better not bother anyone in a dress
If you wanna represent the GOP
Don't harass your women sexually
Herman Cain, the pizza man
They loved his 9-9-9 plan
But he those women didn't savor
His sausage ain't their favorite flavor
If you wanna be the family values nominee
Better not show impropriety
Women don't want to see your breadstick, so
You should smell the cheese and then just go
Don't go out shopping, get carried away
If you wanna get elected in 2012
Better leave that jewelry on the shelf
Gingrich went to Tiffany's
Went on a five-grand spending spree
Then his campaign ran aground
'Cause that ain't fis-cally sound
If you wanna move to Pennsylvania Ave.,
Better keep track of all the land you have
At a hunting camp that you use
There might be a rock that makes you lose
In the polls Rick Perry led
But then that rock said "N-----head"
He said a racist he was not
But it still hit him like a shot
If you wanna be President of the U.S.,
Better not bother anyone in a dress
If you wanna represent the GOP
Don't harass your women sexually
Herman Cain, the pizza man
They loved his 9-9-9 plan
But he those women didn't savor
His sausage ain't their favorite flavor
If you wanna be the family values nominee
Better not show impropriety
Women don't want to see your breadstick, so
You should smell the cheese and then just go
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 2 | 2 |
User Comments
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I liked your "sausage" and "breadstick" allusions. That might make a nice "Double Entendre" Breakfast Special. In order to enter the sleazy realm of politics, a politician has to live a totally invisible life and leave no record that he ever said or did anything before he came to office. And, after all these centuries, we finally found a man who fit that description. How has that worked out?
It's worked out pretty well: He stopped the Bush Recession from turning into a depression, got health insurance for 31 million people, ended the stupid Iraq War and killed Osama bin Laden. And he knows that corporations are NOT people, and that Mitt Romney is not "unemployed." You should've mentioned THAT in here; otherwise, forget the 9-9-9 that will raise taxes on 4 out of 5 people, you get a 5-5-5.
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