Every morning at the site, I can see him arrive
tryin' to get himself a 5-5-5
kind of broad in the thinkin' and clever with a quip
and every poster knows you don't give no lip to DarkJon
DarkJon...DarkJon...Big DarkJon.

Nobody seems to know where Jon calls home
though one post suggests a Canadian zone.
That's OK with me, I think it's just fine
though I don't know what he thinks of "Hockey Player 99," DarkJon.
He said some tough things about Jean Chretien
but he skewered Stock Day on top of them
and a crashing blow on a computer from his hand
sends all kinds o' politicians to the promised land, from DarkJon.
DarkJon...DarkJon...Big DarkJon.

Then came the day, so the story goes
when he wrote a little song about videos
"Bohemian Rhapsody" was recast
in a damn funny piece that will forever last, DarkJon.
Through the dust and the smoke of a Montreal bar
walks a man who's a fan of CCR.
And some of his songs might make you groan
but as a fan of John Fogerty, he's not alone, DarkJon.
DarkJon...DarkJon...Big DarkJon.

And he rearranged a song by Avril Lavigne.
Take it easy there, man, she's just 18.
But good ol' George Lucas, he didn't sue.
Guess the Star Wars song worked for you, DarkJon.
With hacks and printers, he started back down
and tried to match new lyrics with sound
and wit and nerve belched out of that toy.
He's pretty fly for a waterboy, DarkJon.
DarkJon...DarkJon...Big DarkJon.

Now I've never paid tribute in this way with a song
not even for the sainted William Tong.
But these few words I write on the fly:
On this parody board sits a funny, funny guy: DarkJon.
DarkJon...DarkJon...Big DarkJon.