I was steppin' out with Oprah on the town
When her ex-boyfriend appeared in a bound
He peered round the kneecap of her beefy right leg
And tapped her knee just like tappin' a keg

I said "Get lost, Steadman -- Miss Winfrey's now mine"
He reeled off a line how my mom was canine
So I chased him round Oprah, for his just deserve
He led me right straight -- to Steadman's Curve

(Steadman's Curve) a dangerous zone
(Steadman's Curve) you might hit a bone
(Steadman's Curve) former boyfriends moan
"Round the back to Steadman's Curve"

Her back was deserted, her buns immense
We were chasin' each other round her circumference
We both lost our way on the waistline track
You shoulda heard the crunch when she puckered her crack

I flew past a double-domed expanse of brown
And all that I could think was "please, don't sit down"
I crept across her hiney, I was losin' my nerve
Then he wheeled about, and there I was -- at Steadman's Curve

(Steadman's Curve) there's no phonin' home
(Steadman's Curve)...

"Well, the last thing I remember, Doc
I started to slide
And then I saw those big buns on either side
I know I'll never forget that horrible sound
I guess Steadman got the last laugh the moment she sat down"

Down the crack to Steadman's Curve

(Steadman's Curve) is precarious
(Steadman's Curve) hippo-pota-mus
(Steadman's Curve) former boyfriends cuss
"Down the crack to Steadman's Curve"

(Steadman's Curve) is not for the meek
(Steadman's Curve) you're lost for a week
(Steadman's Curve) former boyfriends shriek
"Down the crack to Steadman's Curve"