(Alley, oops, oops, oops-oops)
(Alley's fat's, back, in-swoops)

There's a gal on the tv screens, we all know
(Alley, oops, oops, oops-oops)
Been skinny, back, not too long ago
(Alley, oops, oops, oops-oops)
She'd hawked Jenny Craig and got reimbursed
(skipped ice..cream..sun-dae goops))
Her bikini fit, but now, it burst
(Alley's worse curse .been re-versed)

She's come back, bigg-ah than a Snapp-ah ridin' mow-ah
(Alley, oops, oops, Alley, oops..)
Down at that old Mickey Dee's..she barely slips through the dowah..
(Alley, oops, oops, big goofs)
Still a nice pretty face..and lotta' long blond hai-wuh
(But she's groups, groups, like groups)
She could stand right he-ah, and be ovah they-ah
(Alley, oops, oops, big bloops)

(Alley, oops)
Bout the roundest gal there be alive
(can't do stoops)
Crowd seems small, till she arrive
(Call the troops)
Want your pool empty? let her dive..
Look at that Cheers gal, now...
(SCREAM)...Yeee-oww!!)

Thar' she rolls, look at that Cheers gal, now..
She's sure hippy, ain't she?
Like what's happening?
She's too much..
Go, Mama, go
Built like a dinosawuh
Flow, Mama, flow
You're too much, Kirstie..
Like---hippysville..
(Yee-owww!)