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Song Parodies -> "Glottal Stop"

Original Song Title:

"Stop, Stop, Stop"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Hollies

Parody Song Title:

"Glottal Stop"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Inspired by CML's "For Wha' It's Wor'"
If you hurl ’twixt syll’bles a short linger,
like a light apnea snore.
Dudes who’re listening will be able
to grok the message’s core.

If a T in syllables is missing,
here’s wha’ migh’ be said:
“Swea’ is ’umbling on’o floor, a ho’ mop’s
go’ on where folks tread.

In your epiglo’is, ceases movement
briefly, then air blows
out un’il you complete phone’ic’lly
all your declared prose.

Up is rushing wind that ceases rising
for an instant…POW!
Then it makes a post-glottal rhapsody—
breath ain’t took away now.

Glottal stop is a stanched wind—
briefly you don’t breathe.
Glottal stop is a stanched wind—
though your chest don’t heave.

When the cords are strung as taut as cables,
they are very tight.
And at that instant there cannot speech be,
but that’s quite alright.

Opened mouth will soon be a breath clearer,
and resumes the speech.
This is something like taking a glott’ bite.
But just speak, don’t screech!

Glottal stop is a stanched wind—
briefly you don’t breathe
Glottal stop is a stanched wind—
cords don’t for long seize.

If a hold’s on the breath you’re airing,
it’s like a hose kink.
Then a buccal chuckle is enabled—
after which, a drink.
You’ll understand, though something’s wanting
in the words one speaks.
In the mouth where there’s palatal vaulting,
spelunkers don’t seek,
but spiel-lungers seek.

Glottal stop is a stanched wind—
briefly you don’t breathe
Glottal stop is a stanched wind—
till breath again leaves. Breathe.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

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CML - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
ء,ء,ء!!!
CML - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
^^^^ The previous comment just happens to be the most extraordinary pun ever posted at Amiright, and I say this with all due modesty, but even JAB won't get it. So how does it feel JAB, buddy? How does it feel to have something go over YOUR head?
JAB - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Leaving now to go on a hike, CML. Will try to figure it out when I get back. Stymied for the moment, however.
Rob Arndt - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Arabic Hamza... represents glottal stop... Btw, 555!
CML - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Al Hamdu lilah, Rob, you're halfway there.
Rob Arndt - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Hamza (Arabic: همزة‎, hamzah) (ء) is a letter in the Arabic alphabet, representing the glottal stop [ʔ]. Hamza is not one of the 28 "full" letters and owes its existence to historical inconsistencies in the standard writing system. It is derived from the Arabic letter 'ayn. JAB's parody is Glottal Stop, so I just assumed this was it!
JAB - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Can't figure out what the little marks surrounding the commas are, so I give up.
CML - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Everything you say is correct, Rob, The reason you're only halfway there is that the Arabic word for "5" is "khamsa" ... which is very close in sound to hamza. The "kh" consonant is a type of "h", not "k" as most people assume. ..... I've studied three separate alphabets and the "hamza" is by far the strangest representation of a consonant I've ever seen. It's half letter, half diacritical mark, which is why it's so small. Those little marks are the hamza, JAB.
Jonathan - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
CML made a pun even I wouldn't have go''en! genius! kinda like this parody! 5s
كمل - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Here's we see the hamza in it's native habitat -- سؤال -- (su'al) which is the Arabic word for question. Notice how the hamza is flitting over the rest of the letters, unwanted and unloved, like some kind of linguistic mosquito. Even in languages which recognize it as an official consonant, the glottal stop still doesn't get any respect
JAB - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Aha! Is that an Arabic transliteration?
CML - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Why yes, su'al is an Arabic transliteration. Not all dashes in Arabic transliterations are glottal stops, however. The dash in Shi'ite or Ba'ath or Sa'udi is the letter 'ayn which is a voiced pharyngeal fricative, whatever the fa'ack that means. (I'm guessing you would know what that means) ..... 'ayn is much more common than hamza, so most transliterated dashes are, in fact, 'ayn

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