It’s knowing that I’m missing the Olympics as I type this parody
That makes me wanna suddenly become a fan of Ladies Archery
And it’s knowing that Team US can bring pride back to our land in a manner that no candidate can find.
That keeps me disappointed that I’d rather type some lyrics than watch games that gather cobwebs on my mind.

It’s disputes about defining who’s a man and who’s a woman now that bore me.
Or learning special pronouns just because non-binarists say they will scorn me
Then there’s learning ‘bout the nuance behind Greco Roman wrestling. Athletes’ names that aren’t pronounceable enshrined
For example Bob Ctvrtlek*, buy-a-vow-el Bob Ctvrtlek, for your name was spinning cobwebs on my mind.

The Olympics have great moments, not denying that the world is better with them.
In Berlin, ‘twas Jesse Owens running fastest. Hitler, watching, he cried, “Rigged!”
Then Cascius Clay debuted, he moved on becoming champ, and eventu’lly the greatest of all time.
But Tonya versus Nancy was a putrid spectacle that forever will throw cobwebs on my mind

I know critics can be noisome. Nadia’s tens: wow! I’ll remember Kerry Scrug’s feat.
Then there’s Mark Spitz leaving Munich when assassins decided No more Jews.
Carter nixed Games in Moscow. Never mind the athletes four years bled and pined
I could write this now or watch TV like half-baked mashed potatoes from the games that spun their cobwebs on my mind.