(instrumental opening)

When the actor Jack Palance came on the screen
the womenfolk would hide.
They'd hide.
Because a villain would was usually
the role and trade he plied.

And the point of a gun was the only law
in "Shane" that he understood.
But he faced a man named Alan Ladd.
Evil lost to good.

Volodymyr Palahnyuk, was his name
when he was born
that morn.
In 1919, in Pennsylvania
so poor and so forlorn.

And the lure of the film was the only call
Palahnyuk understood.
When came to working on a dream
a coal mine was no good.

Many a man was a Western star.
And many of them stood tall.
The man who we knew as Jack Palance
we knew him as Jack Palance
he was the coolest of them all.

On Broadway, he followed Brando in
"A Streetcare Named Desire."
Good hire.
Played Jekyll & Hyde, Attilla the Hun
and Dracula with fire.
But the films of the West were the only way
this fella we understood.
When it came to horses, guns and hats
he was mighty good.

"Ripley's Believe It Or Not" he'd host
an Eighties TV show
then, whoa!
For "City Slickers" at 73
to him, Oscar did go.
'Cause the secret of life is "Just One Thing"
which by the end Crystal learned.
When Jack took the stage with one-hand push-ups
glory had returned.

Heavyweight had his requiem
but when great actors we call
the man who we knew as Jack Palance
we knew him as Jack Palance
he was the coolest of them all.

The man who we knew as Jack Palance
we knew him as Jack Palance
he was the coolest of them all.