(Theatrical intro with a brass section)
Ooooooold girrrrrrrl,
Get out of my miiiiiiiiiiiiind
(Tempo speeds up a little)
You look like you're
A hundred and nine
You are bold, girl,
You're much too old, girl

With all the looks of a granny
You look like Mrs. Doubtfire
You've led me to believe
You're old and gray
Retirement
Is not the right option to you, Oh,

Old girl,
Your love isn't mine
My love is for
My darling youg wife
You are bald, girl,
You're much too old, girl

Beneath your cookies and wrinkles
You're just a granny in disguise
And though you know
That it is wrong to be
Alone with me
That elderly look is in your eyes, Oh,

Old girl,
Stay out of my mind
I'm thirty-two
And you're eighty-nine
You've got a cold, girl,
You're much too old, girl

I know that you're a great-grandma
Does your husband know where you are?
Or did he die
When he was ninety-nine?
To change my mind
You've got to thirty-four, Oh,

Old girl,
Our friendship is fine
My love is for
My darling youg wife
You are old, girl,
You're much too old, girl