If you'll dump that bum you got
I can save a pistol shot
And the mess his brains would make there on the walls
So if he ever does you dirt
I'll change into my one clean shirt,
And I'll be there before the next beer can falls

If you want my huggins back
Ring a ding to my old shack,
I'll crank up the old Ford pickup, sometimes stalls
I'll wash out that old bean pot,
Throw a squirrel in, keep it hot
And I'll be there before the next beer can falls

I'll be there in a flash,
Make your check out, sign it cash
On the way back we'll go shoppin' at the malls
If he ever leaves your ass,
C'mon home and cut my grass,
I'll be there before the next beer can falls,

Yup, I'll be there before the next beer can falls