It's a quarter to three.
I'm waiting for my wife
and I gotta pee.
So hurry up, Jill,
'cause my left foot is
starting to kill.

She wanted to shop.
Now she'll never stop
'til her bag's overflowed.
So won't you hurry it up baby,
so we can hit the road?

I know the routine.
I stand here and wait while she
chats with Eileen.
I need to sit down.
So I hope she catches
my disgusted frown.

Could tell her a lot,
but I know she's got
to keep her color code.
Please, just hurry it up, baby,
so we can hit the road.

I could really blow it.
But you'd never know it.
'Cause I've learned what not to say.
My reputation's folding.
'Cause this purse I'm holding
is making me look gay.

But that's how it goes.
And JC Penney's is
anxious to close.
God, I need a beer.
We've got to leave 'cause I'm
still looking queer.

There's more stuff she's found.
She's gotta slow down
before she explodes.
So won't you just buy it, baby
so we can hit the road?