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Song Parodies -> "I Hand-Help Myself"
Original Song Title:
"I Can't Help Myself"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Four Tops
Parody Song Title:
"I Hand-Help Myself"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
You know that I love to
Hand-help myself.
I love you to the point of welts.
In and out my five,
You come and you go.
If I craved real stricture--behind
Kissed it off for grip-around time.
When I clasp my fingers
Around your "eye,"
You'll come runnin' real soon.
I dry what handshakin' brings,
I have got to hand it to you.
Oooooooo!
Hand-help myself
Ohhhhhhhh.
I hand-help myself.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
A tweaker of my gland I be.
Hand-help myself--
Love my tool, as you can see.
Wanker--fell you 'cause I love you.
Fell you till you droop,
Till you're tired.
And every time I keep the pace,
I choke up on the outside.
When I call your name. . .
Sounds like I'm in pain
Churnin' feelin' starts.
Pair make it depart.
There's matter on my thigh--
It's runnin' down the side.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
You know that I tweak for you.
Hand-help myself
I love you to the point of welts.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
All I think about when I grasp you
I hand-help myself.
I wank you and nobody else.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
You know that I love to
Hand-help myself. . . .
You know that I love to
Hand-help myself.
I love you to the point of welts.
In and out my five,
You come and you go.
If I craved real stricture--behind
Kissed it off for grip-around time.
When I clasp my fingers
Around your "eye,"
You'll come runnin' real soon.
I dry what handshakin' brings,
I have got to hand it to you.
Oooooooo!
Hand-help myself
Ohhhhhhhh.
I hand-help myself.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
A tweaker of my gland I be.
Hand-help myself--
Love my tool, as you can see.
Wanker--fell you 'cause I love you.
Fell you till you droop,
Till you're tired.
And every time I keep the pace,
I choke up on the outside.
When I call your name. . .
Sounds like I'm in pain
Churnin' feelin' starts.
Pair make it depart.
There's matter on my thigh--
It's runnin' down the side.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
You know that I tweak for you.
Hand-help myself
I love you to the point of welts.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
All I think about when I grasp you
I hand-help myself.
I wank you and nobody else.
Honey-pie plunger-dunk,
You know that I love to
Hand-help myself. . . .
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 4 | 4 |
User Comments
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Excellent MASTURBATION PARODY, John! Gotta hand it to you --- er, actually, I think you've already handed it to yourself ...
Is it lonely at the top, or tops with the lonely?
Hey Michael ... Only the bonely ... (thumb-thumb-thumb-cum-diddle-ooo-ahh) ... Know the way he feels tonight ... (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah) ...
It isn't a bad parody, but shouldn't it be on WhatFreaks?
painfully funny...5s
Not bad, what do you have up and coming? 555
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