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Song Parodies -> "Muckraker"
Original Song Title:
"Matchmaker"
Original Performer:
Fiddler On The Roof (Musical)
Parody Song Title:
"Muckraker"
Parody Written by:
Melanie Lee
The Lyrics
muckrake (intransitive verb; muckraked , muckraking , muckrakes) To search for and expose misconduct in public life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ETYMOLOGY: From the man with the muckrake, tool for raking muck, who cannot look up to heaven because he is so obsessed with the muck of worldly profit, in Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan OTHER FORMS: muckraker (Noun) muck (noun) 1. A moist sticky mixture, especially of mud and filth. 2. Moist farmyard dung; manure. 3. Dark fertile soil containing decaying vegetable matter. 4. Something filthy or disgusting. 5. Earth, rocks, or clay excavated in mining. (transitive verb; mucked , mucking , mucks) 1. To fertilize with manure or compost. 2. To make dirty with or as if with muck. 3. To remove muck or dirt from (a mine, for example).
Muckraker, muckraker,
Rake me some muck.
Find me some dirt.
Yuck me some yuck.
Muckraker, muckraker,
Turn over rocks,
And rake me some juicy muck!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Tear off their veil—
Hope to find them
Naked and nailed.
Bring in the bums,
For I’m longing to see
Celebs in calamity!
For Demmies, find some exploiters.
For Repubs, find them tawdry with sex!
For me, well, I’ll bust no goiters
As long as it’s not me who’s profiled next!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Rake me some muck.
Find me some dirt.
Yuck me some yuck.
Night after night
I’m at home, stiffly bored,
So find me some dirt
That you’ve scored.
“Since when are you interested in some muck, Nerdy?
I thought you had your eye on hard news.
And you, Softy, had your eye on Oprah Winfrey!”
“So? I’m tired of truth and inspiration. Why shouldn’t I hear some dirt?”
“Yes! You’ll be a bad news addict with a big TV! And whatever they’ll print, you’ll read! Right? Of course, right!”
Jersey! New Jersey!
Can I throw some dirt your way?
Jim cheated! Jim lied!
All right, your gov was gay!
Now that’s a great tip, a good read,
Eh? Yay!
I promised you’d be turned on,
And titillated, too.
Does this improve your mind?
What’s that to you?
Hey, California!
You’ll be fit-to-be-tied!
It’s Paris! It’s Brit!
A naked drunken ride!
Now that’s a great read, a good scoop,
Right? Right!
You’ve heard that Jamie’s pregnant,
And K-Fed sues for half.
Did you say Lindsay’s sober?
Don’t make me laugh!
Did you think you’d see in print
All the good that people do?
All the scandal, the outrage, the humiliation…
Be glad that it’s not you!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Close all those doors.
I’ll mind my biz.
Hey—you mind yours!
Up to this minute
I couldn’t quite see
That next time it could be me!
Dear newsfolk,
Lay back your lashin’.
Remember, we’re all human inside.
It’s not that I’ve grown compassion—
It’s just that I’m terrified!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Scoop me no scoop—
Don’t need to know.
I’m made alert:
Play in the muck
And you might eat some dirt.
So…
Muck me no muck.
News me no news.
Wire me no wire.
Loop me no loop—
Unless it’s a juicy scoop!
Rake me some muck.
Find me some dirt.
Yuck me some yuck.
Muckraker, muckraker,
Turn over rocks,
And rake me some juicy muck!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Tear off their veil—
Hope to find them
Naked and nailed.
Bring in the bums,
For I’m longing to see
Celebs in calamity!
For Demmies, find some exploiters.
For Repubs, find them tawdry with sex!
For me, well, I’ll bust no goiters
As long as it’s not me who’s profiled next!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Rake me some muck.
Find me some dirt.
Yuck me some yuck.
Night after night
I’m at home, stiffly bored,
So find me some dirt
That you’ve scored.
“Since when are you interested in some muck, Nerdy?
I thought you had your eye on hard news.
And you, Softy, had your eye on Oprah Winfrey!”
“So? I’m tired of truth and inspiration. Why shouldn’t I hear some dirt?”
“Yes! You’ll be a bad news addict with a big TV! And whatever they’ll print, you’ll read! Right? Of course, right!”
Jersey! New Jersey!
Can I throw some dirt your way?
Jim cheated! Jim lied!
All right, your gov was gay!
Now that’s a great tip, a good read,
Eh? Yay!
I promised you’d be turned on,
And titillated, too.
Does this improve your mind?
What’s that to you?
Hey, California!
You’ll be fit-to-be-tied!
It’s Paris! It’s Brit!
A naked drunken ride!
Now that’s a great read, a good scoop,
Right? Right!
You’ve heard that Jamie’s pregnant,
And K-Fed sues for half.
Did you say Lindsay’s sober?
Don’t make me laugh!
Did you think you’d see in print
All the good that people do?
All the scandal, the outrage, the humiliation…
Be glad that it’s not you!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Close all those doors.
I’ll mind my biz.
Hey—you mind yours!
Up to this minute
I couldn’t quite see
That next time it could be me!
Dear newsfolk,
Lay back your lashin’.
Remember, we’re all human inside.
It’s not that I’ve grown compassion—
It’s just that I’m terrified!
Muckraker, muckraker,
Scoop me no scoop—
Don’t need to know.
I’m made alert:
Play in the muck
And you might eat some dirt.
So…
Muck me no muck.
News me no news.
Wire me no wire.
Loop me no loop—
Unless it’s a juicy scoop!
http://www.spotlightonstage.com/andreanplayers.htm
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| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
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Bravo!!! Where did you get the idea for this brilliant parody? Inquiring minds want to know!
Excellent job here Melanie. I love parodies of Broadway musicals.
Hey, mucker scooper, this was great ! But Sir, please do not fling it my way . . .
Excellent yellow spurnalism here!
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